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Ed Predisposition

Did you feel you were predispositioned for an ED?


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I need to stop gaining. Put the brakes on. Actually though, I really need to eat healthy foods and exercise. It will help with my depression too. It will be good for the whole family. We've all put on weight during my depression. But, I WILL NEVER LOSE WEIGHT TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY WITH ME AGAIN!!! NEVER!!! I'm in fact, VERY angry about all that FAT stigma. F*ck Them. So, yeah, some of this weight is because I'm angry. And, I'm angry at the very people who think I have to be skinny.

Being skinny, now seems like a bad thing until I get my head in the right place. I don't want to be size 4 again. But, I was a good size 6 and 8. My body held those sizes. I was comfortable at that weight. I didn't over eat, and I didn't use food to satisfy my depression. But, EVERY TIME I looked in the mirror, I thought I was fat. I told myself in a disgusted way, "God, you're soooo fat!" "Ugh, you're so fat." "Look at you!" See? I'm not going back to that.

But, at the same time, and I think Sqweak you'll know what I mean (and I hope you know that I mean no offense...) but I don't want to be size 16. Just like I don't want to be size 14! ;) I don't like shopping at the stores you mentioned because I am too old and they look at me with disdain no matter my weight.

But, thanks for the tip on shopping online!

Lest you think that it is only "skinny" stores who are biased, I will tell you about the last time I was size 14... about 10 years ago. I walked into a store specifically catering to those size 14-Plus whatever, and the sales lady stopped me at the door. What I mean by that is, I was just inside the door when she asked me from across the room and in front of other customers, including the one she was ringing up at the time, what size I am. She ASKED me what SIZE I am in front of all of them! You could see that she hadn't made any friends by doing that. The others were clearly appalled by it. I won't forget it. I don't want to go back to another plus size store...either.
 
When I was younger I used to walk through doors sideways because I was convinced I wouldn't be able to get through them, which is funny because at the same time I’m convinced I’m invisible to the naked eye and no one can see me, lol. It’s silly saying this out loud but it's how I really feel.
It doesn't sound silly at all, don't worry. I know exactly what you mean. I'm sorry you were going through this as a kid, when you should have been enjoying your life, not worrying about things like this...

Sorry about the size thing, I got a little confused. And I'm getting confused even more... is there a difference in sizes from US to UK? The sizes I know, 12 is skinny, really, I can't see how BMI could say obese... Anyway, it doesn't even matter what size you are. It matters what you do about it, without going to extremes. That's my opinion.
 
Women's Dresses and Suits (Misses Sizes)

European 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50
UK 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22
Japan 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23
USA 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20
USA LETTER XS S S M M L L XL 1X 2X

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I'll admit that I haven't read through the whole of this thread (nor have I answered the poll), but I did want to comment on the BMI thing. BMI is a ratio worked out from your weight and height. Bearing in mind that size for size wise muscle weighs more than fat, many professional sports people are considered overweight when using the BMI proportion. I think if we are honest with ourselves, we know generally whether we are unhealthy over weight, with fat for our height.
 
I would say that article is fairly accurate... as there is no one thing that attributes to eating disorders, whether not enough or too much food.

Most overweight people eat due to depression, the rare exception eat due to an actual disorder, slowly eating themselves to death, then the counter is not eating enough and the opposite, the need to feel important, loved, worthy, etc or slowly not eating enough to sustain body functions, again, death at the skinny end.

Just about all counts of eating issues, come back to mentality and psychological treatment. Many who are overweight use the old, thyroid as their excuse, when in fact their thyroid is just fine, or its developed issues due to being overweight in the first place due to depression, low self esteem, and many other factors.
 
My anorexia during the summer is apparently connected to when I was sexually abused as a child. Much of it took place during the summer months. For June,July & August I literally can't eat. Either I am nauseous or my stomach is in knots. Thanks to a clue in a memory I already had (which my inner child validated and gave more detail about), I know the connection now. I was forced to perform oral sex at six and seven years old with some of the abuse taking place while we hid under a pool cover which was stung over a line in the yard. It is hard because in the past I have lost as much as forty pounds over a summer. Thankfully I am heavy to begin with.
 
The summer months also have an effect on me as well Kimba. I try not to keep track of what I'm eating and the exercise i'm getting because i know that it will just spiral out of my hands at some point. Thanks for responding.
 
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