Educator Related PTSD

[ainmama2001]

Hi Everyone. I was a paraprofessional for 10 years in a highly toxic, unsupported school environment. For the last year or so, I've been covertly bullied by faculty and administrators. I was on my union board, so I quit that, hoping it would help. It did not. Last week I was pulled into a disciplinary meeting (my first in 10 years) for allegedly consistenly throwing away a student's lunch when he didn't finish on time (I did no such thing). They see me taking his tray to the garbage can when he is FINISHED on the cameras and allege that I am not allowing this child to eat his lunch and I am being insubordinate because his teacher told me if he didn't finish his lunch, he could bring it to the classroom. We do bring some little things he didn't finish up to the classroom, but most time, he doesn't even eat them and forgets about them. This child has a disability and his behaviors are very hard to manage. The teacher gave me behavioral guidance ONCE in the beginning of the year and nothing since. I take reams and reams of behavioral data every day and no one ever goes over it with me to discuss strategies. When the meeting was scheduled, I was in school ready to go and full of anxiety - as I have been on edge all year dealing with this child with no support. This was the day before a five day break. At the last minute, the administration cancelled the meeting and said that they'd "reschedule it" for after the break. I had a nervous breakdown in the school and had to leave. My doctor gave me a four week mental health note. The next week, the supervisor insisted that the meeting proceed by phone if I wasn't willing to wait until I came back to school. The meeting was awful, citing video I couldn't see or explain and due to my condition, I was not completely coherent. My union reps were there and were next to no help. The result was that "we need to investigate this further and interview people before we get back to you with a decision". I Immediately quit. I am seven months from retirement and gave up my insurance. I have been in bed for a week with cycling PTSD episodes. I put such a burden on my family now, and I feel very guilty, and I'm very resentful for having to leave my job, but the environment was far too toxic.

 

[LuckiLee]

So sorry for your struggles. Have you been diagnosed with PTSD?

Welcome.

 

[ainmama2001]

Not officially.

 

[Lhazel11]

Hi Everyone. I was a paraprofessional for 10 years in a highly toxic, unsupported school environment. For the last year or so, I've been covertly bullied by faculty and administrators. I was on my union board, so I quit that, hoping it would help. It did not. Last week I was pulled into a disciplinary meeting (my first in 10 years) for allegedly consistenly throwing away a student's lunch when he didn't finish on time (I did no such thing). They see me taking his tray to the garbage can when he is FINISHED on the cameras and allege that I am not allowing this child to eat his lunch and I am being insubordinate because his teacher told me if he didn't finish his lunch, he could bring it to the classroom. We do bring some little things he didn't finish up to the classroom, but most time, he doesn't even eat them and forgets about them. This child has a disability and his behaviors are very hard to manage. The teacher gave me behavioral guidance ONCE in the beginning of the year and nothing since. I take reams and reams of behavioral data every day and no one ever goes over it with me to discuss strategies. When the meeting was scheduled, I was in school ready to go and full of anxiety - as I have been on edge all year dealing with this child with no support. This was the day before a five day break. At the last minute, the administration cancelled the meeting and said that they'd "reschedule it" for after the break. I had a nervous breakdown in the school and had to leave. My doctor gave me a four week mental health note. The next week, the supervisor insisted that the meeting proceed by phone if I wasn't willing to wait until I came back to school. The meeting was awful, citing video I couldn't see or explain and due to my condition, I was not completely coherent. My union reps were there and were next to no help. The result was that "we need to investigate this further and interview people before we get back to you with a decision". I Immediately quit. I am seven months from retirement and gave up my insurance. I have been in bed for a week with cycling PTSD episodes. I put such a burden on my family now, and I feel very guilty, and I'm very resentful for having to leave my job, but the environment was far too toxic.

I can relate to this so much @ainmama2001 and I'm sorry you have gone through it. I left a very toxic education job in December - my body was responding to the stress through illnesses I had never had before: pneumonia, UTI, pink eye - one after that other that winter season and it was rough.

Good for you for taking that first step in quitting! Stress can compound over time as we know and it is so damaging to the body and nervous system to stay in an unhealthy environment.

It took me awhile to regulate myself again, but I eventually found a new job with far less stress. It has been a game-changer. Do you have a support system that can help you during this aftermath of leaving your job? Sending you well wishes!