Emdr-good Or Bad?

[deleted]

I had my first EMDR session last week and I had one of the worst panic attacks I've had in a long time in the middle of it. It was horrible. T had warned me that it will be really hard before its gets better but I didn't think it was going to be like that. The week following all my symptoms were extremely heightened-I had horrible panic attacks, nightmares, outbursts etc. I was on extreme hyper alert 24-7. I felt things and thought things that I haven't felt since my trauma happened. I had my weekly session yesterday and T agreed it was too much too soon and wants to change direction to do DBT. But the end goal is still EMDR. He "rewoke" my trauma and Its crushing me.

How have your EMDR experiences been? Good or bad?

 

[Rumors]

I haven't had ever, however I have read tons of threads here on the topic. You may want to go back to older threads and just read through them. You may find some really helpful information on what you are dealing with.
Hang in there!!!

 

[Marymickaela]

I'm really sorry you had to go thru all that. It sounds awful.
(T
I started seeing a trauma therapist (Tdoc) for PTSD the end of April. We spent a good two month with her getting to know my history and coming up with a long long list of Targets before we ever started EMDR. I haven't had that many EMDR sessions yet, but the ones I've had have been incredible. My therapist is wonderful. The way she does EMDR is thru the use of headphones I wear. I set the volume and speed of the tones. I have my eyes closed so I'm not distracted and she only talks to me when needed. Let me add that I rarely, if ever, cry as I'm not able to get in touch with my emotions. Some of that is due to all the meds I'm on I believe.

I'll just describe this week. We decided to focus how my dad didn't ever show me love, but after we started all these memories of times when I was really young and he did show me love came up. She said that was ok. I thought of many situations, talked about them and then my brain just went totally blank. I sat there just listening to the tones and told Tdoc there was nothing. She said to just focus on that. I finally started to slow my breathing down and listen to the tones. I started to move my eyes back and forth in synch with the tones. I just let it happen.

Suddenly I was 4 yo and upstairs in my bedroom, which was just above my parent's bedroom. I could hear my mom begging my dad repeatedly to stop beating her, I was so scared and started rocking back and forth as I talked about it. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Finally my Tdoc asked if the adult me could find a way to comfort the little girl and I finally said "yes". So in my mind I walked over to the little girl, put my arms around her, held her and reassured her she was safe and everything was going to be ok. Finally I tucked her into bed and stayed with her until she felt safe.

I opened my eyes and tears were pouring down my face. It was amazing. If I tried to get in touch with that little girl right now I couldn't. I don't know how your Tdoc does EMDR or how long you were with her before starting it. I feel really safe with mine and I think that's needed. Maybe yours should have stopped the EMDR before the panic set in and had you come back to a safe place. I've very excited to be doing it. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and the he said the key to me getting better from my PTSD is thru EMDR therapy. I've spent over 10 years in traditional therapy and have gotten more out of this in the last 4 months then those 10 years.

I wish you luck. Just hang in there.