Skywatcher
MyPTSD Pro
During my original emdr sessions, parts appeared. Not so much actual parts, maybe? I would just disassociate a bunch, live in different realities. I would speak to my therapist in plural, cope by separating my trauma self from my current self. She would ask me what age my emotions were connected to. I had established an inner world. I can still go in there. When conflict arises with my therapist, it’s like a group discussion in my head. My T would tell me to remember that the adult part needs to be in charge. It seems as though when I am triggered or working on a new target that has a suds of 8-10 a part or the group appears. The rest of the time, I’m quite normal—with exception to the youngest ones showing up from time to time. So, knowing this stuff is on a spectrum, I’m curious if therapists can somehow increase our separation or consolidation in the process of therapy. Years ago, my therapist spoke to me about my parts as though they are real, but now it’s like she is speaking to one complete me. When she asks about ages it’s about feelings from the past—not parts living in current day. Part of me misses feeling separate and my T validating it. However, now that I feel more as one, I wonder if she was originally doing something that kept me separate, then realized how real it seemed to me vs a figurative processing of the past and changed the treatment plan so that I wouldn’t separate further into a lack of reality. Has anyone else experienced this? Or is this just my brains creative way of processing stuff?