Ending Therapy With My Old Therapist Tomorrow.

[FindingMyself88]

Tomorrow is going to be a very bittersweet day. Tomorrow is the day that I tell my T that I will no longer be seeing her on a regular basis. I will have to check in every couple months so that I can keep my appointments with my psychiatrist, but we will no longer have a therapeutic relationship. It's sad because I have been with her for two years and she has helped me with things like setting boundaries and accepting that I was abused in many ways. Tomorrow is also an exciting day. Because it begins a a new journey for me as well. Wednesday I see my new trauma therapist for the second time. I feel hopeful that it will be a good relationship and she seems excited to help me.

I think the scary thing for me is I have realized this will be the first time I have personally "ended" a relationship, in any area of my life. Good or bad. I've never been able to end it because of guilt. Does that make sense? It's a huge and very scary step for me. So much so that I've had two anxiety attacks thinking about it today. I also don't want to break down tomorrow, but I am afraid I will. Even though I know it is/was a professional relationship, I'm afraid she will be mad at me. Which is stupid because it's not like I am paying her, she is free through the university, plus I will see her occasionally.

If I can just get past 11 o'clock tomorrow I will be okay.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am sorry I don't remember: Are you ending the relationship becasue it was toxic in some way?

Even though I know it is/was a professional relationship, I'm afraid she will be mad at me. Which is stupid because it's not like I am paying her, she is free through the university, plus I will see her occasionally.

Even if you don't pay her, I feel the relationship is still just the same if you were. She might be surprised. But if she is angry then that is very inappropriate.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@Ayesha It was not toxic. I just was recommended by my psychiatrist after suicide attempt to start seeing a trauma therapist. The trauma therapist thinks it would be best to only see one of them at a time. Before this though, I was beginning to feel that this therapist couldn't do anymore for me. All I did was come in and talk about my week for the most part.

She knew I was starting to see a trauma therapist, so I am hoping she won't be surprised. I think it's just me projecting my past feelings onto this situation...

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I sort of agree with your new trauma therapist and then I don't...I see talking about your week a chance to make goals and improve your quality of life. Working on your trauma is great but what about the rest of you?

 

[It's all my fault]

How about you write her a letter and have her read it with you there. That's what I would do to make it a little easier. Otherwise you may not have enough time to get thru it before the session ends. Good luck! Your very brave.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@Ayesha Thats what I thought at first, but my trauma T said that we would cover that stuff as necessary and that she will be able to see me more than once a week if need be. She has overall more experience in dealing with trauma. My day to day is constantly interfered with by my trauma, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't deal with anxiety, flashbacks, or nightmares.

@It's all my fault I have done this before, but this is something I think I want to say to her as it feels more genuine.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that often, it's best to just see one therapist. It avoids conflicts in technique. One therapist may say "do ABC, not XYZ" and the other may say "do XYZ, not ABC". I think is best to work with one therapist at a time and even if you don't use all of that therapists methods, you can still say you tried, but it wasn't for you.

You're taking great steps toward healing! Lots of high fives for you!

 

[Justmehere]

@FindingMyself88
- congrats on graduating to this next phase of your journey!
I like that you are not going to totally end with her, but have her to go back to if needed, and that you are moving towards the next step in your healing too with the trauma therapist! I hope it goes well and I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@Solara that is exactly what me and my trauma therapist talked about and felt was best. We thoroughly discussed her methods the first session and I think this will be my chance to really make progress. She works from a mindfulness perspective and also does EMDR. Thank you for your encouragement!

@Justmehere thank you! Yes, it will be good not to completely end the relationship, just the therapeutic side!

 

[Zoe1972]

FindingMyself88 -
Good Luck tomorrow, I will send you postive thoughts that it goes well. I
understand why you are feeling the way you are. I am someone that can feel guilt in any situation.

 

[Wyakin]

Good luck today. :hug:

 

[jason1971]

hope it goes well