Redheaded Stranger
Silver Member
Okay, I think I've had an epiphany....
First, I should say that my boyfriend has PTSD, not me. Second, he's isolating and has been gone for over 2 weeeks.
So for the last 2 days, I've been angry. Not upset. Not a little mad. I've been stark raving blood-pressure-skyrocketing red-faced ANGRY for the last 2 days. Nothing has changed. If anything I got a small, minor possible triumph yesterday. But I'm ANGRY.
I clump about, stomping and huffing like a dragon. I glare at people and scare little children (not really, but it feels like that). I'm MAD from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
So I shut myself in my house and my office and don't talk to anyone. Everytime I open my mouth, the anger just pours out like hot lava. I hear it. People look at me weird. So I stay in. If I don't talk to anyone or see anyone, then I can't ruin anything until this goes away.
OMG....
Did you read that last sentence?
If I don't talk to anyone or see anyone, then I can't ruin anything until this goes away.
Driving home from work today, that last sentence was running through my head...and I put myself in my boyfriend's shoes.....don't you hate it when that happens?
Is this how he feels? Is this why he's isolating? Is it that everything he sees and hears just sends him over the edge? OMG!!! Is he just trying to get through each minute without *literally* blowing his top? I have felt like this for 2 days and am ready to explode. He's been dealing with PTSD for YEARS! How does he do it? He must be so strong!
Epiphany.
Doesn't make me less angry, but makes me put it into perspective and not take it too personally that he's isolating. Hope he comes home soon......but please God, let me get over being angry first.....
First, I should say that my boyfriend has PTSD, not me. Second, he's isolating and has been gone for over 2 weeeks.
So for the last 2 days, I've been angry. Not upset. Not a little mad. I've been stark raving blood-pressure-skyrocketing red-faced ANGRY for the last 2 days. Nothing has changed. If anything I got a small, minor possible triumph yesterday. But I'm ANGRY.
I clump about, stomping and huffing like a dragon. I glare at people and scare little children (not really, but it feels like that). I'm MAD from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
So I shut myself in my house and my office and don't talk to anyone. Everytime I open my mouth, the anger just pours out like hot lava. I hear it. People look at me weird. So I stay in. If I don't talk to anyone or see anyone, then I can't ruin anything until this goes away.
OMG....
Did you read that last sentence?
If I don't talk to anyone or see anyone, then I can't ruin anything until this goes away.
Driving home from work today, that last sentence was running through my head...and I put myself in my boyfriend's shoes.....don't you hate it when that happens?
Is this how he feels? Is this why he's isolating? Is it that everything he sees and hears just sends him over the edge? OMG!!! Is he just trying to get through each minute without *literally* blowing his top? I have felt like this for 2 days and am ready to explode. He's been dealing with PTSD for YEARS! How does he do it? He must be so strong!
Epiphany.
Doesn't make me less angry, but makes me put it into perspective and not take it too personally that he's isolating. Hope he comes home soon......but please God, let me get over being angry first.....
