Experience on Dating Site for Disabled, Including Mentally

[Ron32]

You think the internet can be made safe?

bluebinstein said:
I think rather than that all or nothing thinking, which is a type of thinking that keeps us sick, you could practice some internet safety instead. And learn to let suspicious things go. This is an important practice I have found for coping with CPTSD.

Safer. It's not all or nothing.

 

[Ron32]

I sincerely hope that good and innocent people will not get sexually abused because of their lack of knowledge or understanding of the dangeres at one time in their life like happened to myself. There was a time I thought about the butterfly effect - one event in the past of a person's life affecting their whole future.

If I could ignore the message at the dating site, in retrospect, I would have chosen to ignore. A lot of suffering could be avoided if I knew. I keep my opinion about it even now. However, an even in the past cannot be changed and I am forced to cope with reality as it is, for all of us.

 

[Movingforward10]

I sincerely hope that good and innocent people will not get sexually abused because of their lack of knowledge or understanding of the dangeres at one time in their life like happened to myself. There was a time I thought about the butterfly effect - one event in the past of a person's life affecting their whole future.

It's complicated isn't it, but people who abuse will use any means to do that. It is always the fault of the abusers.

If I could ignore the message at the dating site, in retrospect, I would have chosen to ignore. A lot of suffering could be avoided if I knew.

The past can't be undone, but it's good to learn from these experiences. Whilst it is the responsibility of abusers to change their behaviour, we can examine ourselves and what led us to ABC. Now you know that red flags you noticed and put aside are things not to put aside. And that dating websites and other people's vetting don't overdose your own.

Even this website, will have people who are safe and people who aren't.

It's all complicated. And yes, things can be made safer. But we also do need to make our own judgements about the relationships we enter. Easier said than done sometimes when abusers groom and use all sorts of psychogcial tactics.

 

[bluebinstein]

I did not specify moderating only by AI.

For an example: AI could find potential dangerous content and shift case to a human moderator. It's a start but not a whole solution. 100% sterilization against dangers in dating apps and sites will not be achieved.



Not all or nothing, but something better than nothing.

sorry, I don’t understand. You’re saying to never do something in the og post because of 1 bad experience, not mentioning any use of online safety or how to manage a situation appropriately? That is all or nothing. You really have to be careful online. It is possible to investigate someone. I’m sure you would have found some red flags if you looked hard enough. Never give out personal information. And now it’s normal to use avatars and stuff you don’t even need to put your face out there. Never register with your safe email. Have multiple email addresses. Organize it. I do all this with penpals. I’m not even dating I just like to chat. Yes I get severely mentally ill, block them before you have a problem. Then proceed with caution and report them if you really want to do something.
This is how online life just is now. There is some moderation but not even the government can control each and every person. So no the internet is as safe as walking down the street in a big city.

 

[Movingforward10]

Yes I get severely mentally ill, block them before you have a problem.

This made me chuckle because we're all here, posting on this site about our mental health, in various stages of being unwell and well.

But yes, online safety is our own individual responsibility.