Explaining Dissociation To A Partner

[Kintsugi]

For derealization, I usually talk about it as a dream state.

For the completely checked out stage of dissociation, I think driving somewhere and not being able to remember how you got there is a good one.

Most other aspects of dissociation/derealization I've only been able to talk about using experience with doing various drugs as a reference... The feeling of being high, not experiencing time, being inside one's own head, seeing a distorted reality, feeling numb, etc.

 

[EveHarrington]

I go the drugged route. If they've never been drugged up-----nothing else really comes close. Some of the legal herbs I've tried have given me that dissociated feeling.

LOL, come to think of it, next time someone asks I'll give them a high dose of that herb! Never again will they question me!

 

[Thizette]

@EveHarrington is it valerian root? I use valerian tea for anxiety, pms, muscle aches, sleeplessness.

 

[Friday]

How I describe something depends on their need to know. If they need to know? Why? What's useful for them? (Big hint there : I ask them, unless the answer is obvious.)

If it's someone I'm dating? Their need to know hinges entirely on how to deal with me when I'm in various states of zoned out. Which means I use the dream example. Because what naturally follows from there is how to wake me up, if it's always a good idea to wake me up (no), and how I'm likely to respond once woken up.

If it's someone who is trying to parse disassociation in their own life? Their need to know is personal / has nothing to do with me. Matching like to like. I'll usually list out a spectrum of examples, mine and others, from mild to severe. I'll further kick over details that are useless to someone who isn't struggling wih disassociation, as well as tips/tricks/& normalizing things I've learned along the way. I will go into a helluva lot more detail with someone who is figuring out their own spectrum, because I have absolutely no idea what will be useful for them

 

[Thizette]

How I describe something depends on their need to know. If they need to know? Why?

I think someone I live with should know why I'm not myself at times, how I get there, and what is or is not ok to do in that moment. I don't bother explaining it to anyone else. My close friends know I have PTSD/anxiety, so I can just tell them later that I was having an episode. It's different with an intimate partner. I think he needs to understand anything that has such a profound capacity to affect our communication. Also, it feels good to know I can talk to him about my experiences.

I'm interested in your tips/tricks/normalizing things if you'd like to share some.