Explaining Your Ptsd To Others

[OKRADLAK]

You are very brave! I commend you. I am not there yet. I tell no one. If I do, I just say I have PTSD and no details.

 

[Sheer Force of Will]

For me, I feel like my body is a haunted house I am living in. I am walking through the haunted house, living there, trying to have a life there, but all the while I know that it is haunted. All through my day, I know that I am in a haunted house. There are ghosts and monsters and horrors around every corner and all they have to do is decide to come out and they can haunt me and torture me and I have no say in it.

You never know when the ghosts are going to come out. You never know when you are going to have to contend with a monster or ghost, and you have no control over when they come, and often times no way to stop them, even if they draw blood. Knowing this, how could anyone sleep in a haunted house, how could you ever invite someone into your haunted house?

That is what I tell my friends when I don't want to talk about my PTSD. I don't want them in my haunted house.

I hope it does not violate any forum rules to repost this in my dairy.

 

[Zef]

Wow, SheerForce. Thank You. Hope you don't mind if I use that description sometime.

 

[Sheer Force of Will]

Of course not. We are all here to share.

 

[Loner]

I really think its important to question and be honest about the why you feel the need to share. In the past I have been desperate to feel like someone understood. I have felt like perhaps people would be more accepting of me if they knew what I had been through, but the truth was, most people were already willing to accept me, and it was only my own paranoia and anxiety which didn't let me see that. I thought if people knew my issues it would alleviate these things but it didnt. I am sorry if this seems overly critical, but I question the idea in the original post that it somehow makes the world a better place by sharing these things, I just can't see that.

You should never tell anyone to make excuses for your behavior or to gain some amount of acceptance or forgiveness that you otherwise could not hope for. Life just doesnt accept excuses. I think pretty much the only reasons to tell anyone are to relate to someone who has suffered to, or to just give an honest heads up to a romantic interest about what they are getting themselves involved with so they can be prepared, and neither of those things is really dependent on them understanding what exactly you've gone though.

 

[Zef]

Loner, I see your point, but. . .here's a real-life example of how I think educating people helps make the world a better place.

My in-laws are what most of you all would call good people. When I had to check myself into a partial hospitalization program and the PTSD term started being thrown around, they were naturally concerned for my wife. . .because all they really knew about it are the stereotypes in society. They were afraid of me becoming violent with her and our children, etc.

Eventually, once I was out of crisis mode, I was able to talk to them a bit and try to explain. I didn't do a very good job of it, but I was able to settle some of their fears. They know a little more about PTSD now, beyond the stereotypes, and can (and have) shared some of the facts they learned with others.

In my view, education makes the world a better place. The less ignorant people are, the less likely they are to unintentionally hurt or harm themselves or others.

 

[Loner]

You're right, there is such a stigma about anyone with any sort of issues. I have even heard who had no idea of my life story say things like theyd never have kids with someone who had suffered childhood abuse because they wouldnt be able to trust them not to abuse their own kids. I know thats sometimes a pattern, but what ignorance.

Most of the time though I think its a pretty futile gesture.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Sheer- Right on. Good lord, You nailed it.

 

[U2 Fan in Pain]

Imagine living in one of those horror movies.

Describing your PTSD as being in a horror movie is exactly the analogy I was thinking of using in my attempt AGAIN to explain my condition to husband(who is a MD), family and friends. They just don't understand what I am going through and are waiting for me to "GET OVER IT" or my husbands reply to my last attempt to share with him "so this is what I have to look forward to"

 

[stuff]

Sheer, thank you for that description. I might have to use that analogy in a song sometime. I'll give you full props if that cool with you!

 

[stuff]

I think ultimately, most people don't want to know. They would like to be content in their world not knowing that another person can feel like this way. They are happy to know that you would share the fact that you have it, but there isn't a real desire to understand it. I have maybe one close friend out of many acquaintances whom I can really talk about it with and even then I play down my symptoms when they are bad because I know she isn't really equipt to understand and I feel like I would be a burden.

 

[AzureMind]

Stuff, I agree, it's easier for a lot of people to just 'look the other way', but, I could be wrong on this, BUT WHAT IF, there was someone who DIDN'T want to look the other way when it came to you?

What if they wanted to understand you, in full? What kind of relationship is it when the person sleeping right beside you doesn't want to know what's going on in the other persons mind?

I can't stand people like that; the one's convinced that a relationship is really about two bodies occupying the same physical proximity, people like that may as well get blow up dolls, and save everyone else the trouble :). But knowing that, I'm sure you know that there's a person out there who will be right there everyday, sharing it all with you, until then, love yourself. Try, it's hard some days to wake up and look in the mirror after all the lies we were told and say 'I love me,' but let me tell you; if ANYBODY in the world deserves love like that, I can say sufferers of PTSD are LONG overdue.

So just give yourself WHATEVER you may want or need; I INTEND to spoil myself as soon as I can, that's all the foods I want to eat, some of the clothes I want to buy, movies, and HOPEFULLY, a relationship that makes me really happy; not necessary, but that last one's a plus.