Facebook Anxiety, And Can't Connect With People

[Emilie]

My husband asked me to make a FB with him and I did but I'm so paranoid about who I am adding that I only have a few people on there. He's a very sociable likeable guy who gets tons of posts and has lots of friends who post. I have like 20 people on there (all family) and from having a FB before and never getting talked to or responded to I haven't been able to look at it or update it at all.. I suppose I could delete it again, but then I get paranoid about my husband on there alone. He's a stand up guy and all, I know he'd never do anything, It's just embarrassing.

I really have no friends. I haven't hung out with anyone in over 4 years, my T just dumped me saying theres nothing more she can do to help. I feel like the whole FB thing is just a blow to my self esteem, like rubbing salt into the wound. I don't know what I should do about it. I'm so far gone from making friends at this point because my conversations dont click with people, I can't connect at all, my family doesn't understand... I'm just so frustrated and alone. My husband is the only one who gets me, and he deleted his for close to a year to make me feel happy, but during that time I watched him disconnect too, and he was ultimately just enabling my irrational behavior/thoughts. I'm glad he's back on and I want to be there with him and all. I just don't know what to do.

I'm trying so hard, his friends aren't close with me though, Im not even sure they like me. THe ones I do like and trust that are his friends live hundreds of miles away, and (i feel)dont really want to post on my FB because nobody wants to be associated with a loner.

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

Emilie,

FB is way over rated! It is over advertised beyond belief. No-body I know is even on FB anymore except for some businesses I know. I never had a real FB account even when it was popular because I don't have any family. I think FB is mainly for people who live in other countries who find FB as a great means of communication with the outside world. I'm sad you are so distraught over FB, that's a shame. If you don't like FB or you're not getting satisfaction from your account on there, just delete your account! Let your husband have his own FB friends. And don't compare yourself to him.

You are not a looser! You have self esteem issues and that can be worked-on. I recommend getting another therapist asap. Maybe your current therapist dropping you was a blessing in disguise. Tell your new therapist that you also want to work on your self esteem issues. And don't settle for the first therapist you see, keep interviewing therapist until you find one who you approve of.

Emilie, I don't have any friends either. But that's my own choice right now. When I feel better mentally, I will start volunteering and doing things where I will get the opportunity to meet people and make friends again.

Making friends can be a hassle in its-self. You have to be careful and let people in slowly. We are vulnerable with having PTSD. Be careful and make friends slowly, make sure they are trust worthy people. And just consider them acquaintances until you feel that an actual friendship has been established. REAL true friendships usually take years to build. However, if you meet some nice people that you can talk to and feel safe with, is as good as it gets sometimes. And that usually is enough. Don't worry about your husbands friends and weather they like you. Make your own friends when the time is right. You will naturally make these types of friendships when you are ready.

Emilie don't forget you have a right to be supported by your husband. He sounds like he loves you so make sure you are getting the support, and attention you deserve from him, don't feel guilty for that, that's what you both signed up for when you got married. For better or for worse. Make sure he is doing his part. If need be, get into some marriage counseling. It could never hurt. If he is spending exorbitant amount of time on FB that is not good. But if he's doing it in moderation that's fine.

Try to find at least one girlfriend that is a (gab buddy) to gab with over the phone. This makes a world of difference. Makes sure she is someone who loves to talk on the phone. Then gab with her frequently and let your problems out, and listen to hers as well.

I'll be around if you have more questions,

Take care of you! xx