General Faith And Ptsd

[Tinyflame]

((((((Rose and your H))))).

My dad used to say "nothing bad lasts forever". I don't think God would want you to feel sad, or so worried, but I do understand. "Please help I can't bear it any longer" is pretty much what I have defaulted to a few times. (((((Hugs)))))

Unrelated, lately things/ circumstances have happened (and my response to them) that make me feel that I've let God down, my sister down, my friends down, and even myself down. :(

 

[Lunada94]

Thanks for the support. I changed my screen name. You never know...my husband may wander his way to this site for his own support. I am struggling with faith that God has a plan. I know the Lord had me for a purpose to help my husband through this but I'm wondering if God has a purpose for me in this, because I don't see one. All I feel is misery and stress. :cautious:

 

[mamachick]

I do believe faith in God is so important. I wish I had the belief. I am a bit agnostic. Was not raised with much religion and God never mentioned in our immediate home. When I heard of God through relatives and friends, I though of him as Santa or the Easter Bunny. None of them show up in our home. We are defective.

My daughter does not believe in luck, but in hard work. I taught my kids that. Yes we occassionally get lucky by being at the right place at the right time, but ultimately, it is hard work that brings good into our lives. I really believed that. Anymore, I think it is just chance. Just as Lunada stated, when will this end and the good begin. After awile, hard work without return has made my belief change. Then again, I recognize I am working in the wrong direction. Is doing what I do getting me what I want.

I want to have that faith in God. Something to keep working on.

 

[a3a2]

I have not read all the replies, just your original question. I hope I am not being too redundant.

Here is my advice: Take an anvil. Drop it on the toes of your family members. Tell them not to worry, God can heal their toes.

If you broke your leg, would they tell you just to pray about it, or take you to the emergency room? Yes, God can and does heal people. SOmetimes he does it miraculously. SOmetimes he uses people to help us. SOmetimes he allows the thorn to remain in our flesh and tells us that His grace is sufficient, and asks us to use our struggles to allow other people to serve Him, and for us to use our struggles to serve Him.

Don't let your family twist scripture to heap false guilt on you. Unless guilt drives you to seek forgiveness, it is from the pit of hell.

 

[The Albatross]

I sort of had a similar real life experience, my mother in law (the first one) was going blind an was saying "it was God's will". She had cataracts. I asked her, if she believed she was made by God. She said yes. I asked her if she was half holy, or a daughter of God. She said yes. I asked her to tell me the story of the parable of the man on the mat. Did Jesus directly heal him? She said no, he was told to get off his mat and walk. I asked her, do you believe that God or Jesus want you to go blind? Or do they want you to be healed... you were born in a place and a time where this surgery is not only possible but low risk?

She had the surgery and was to restored to normal vision. Was it a miracle? Not at all... it is an example of a misguided person sitting on their butt expecting a miracle where a routine surgery would do.

A3... I expect God would heal thier toes... but God also gives common sense. Sometimes people want demonstrations and wait for miracles where none are necessary.

 

[Tinyflame]

((((Lunada))))), (((Brat))))

Oh no, I can't say I think that way. To me, it's just as miraculous to get a fantastic Dr etc, if one needs one.

But I must say, I've kind of experienced the gammut. Done everything and then some of hard work to survive. But also there have been times when I absolutely cannot help myself (or those I love). I think at times like those, when you cannot (there is no choice in the matter, as hard as you try), 'do' more, or anything, well I guess that was pretty much the lowest points when I have had only God to trust, as it is beyond my capabilities. Heck, much of my life has been last few years have been that way. If it weren't for 'who', 'how' and 'what' (I believe) God provided I don't think I'd be 'here'.

Hee- I think God would heal the toes, but He'd tell you to move your feet, too!

 

[Tinyflame]

I guess traumas make many of us feel like we fell off God's radar. In retrospect, that's always how it's been, there is no help, never really has been. To me, 'survival' wasn't worth it. If that's what the 'help' was. I never asked for any of this, and 30 years has been more than enough. I guess smarter/ stronger people would have realized that earlier. Most people don'y understand- yet I do not see them going through stuff once, yet repeatedly. I doubt it matters to God, not for my life. I was born left off the roster/ manifest, lol. I think however, it's 'person' specific, not a generalization.

 

[Shellbell]

I had a brief conversation recently with my therapist who is a Christian. I told her I don't understand how He allows so much suffering. Why create a world with suffering at all? It doesn't feel like love.

Her response was God also gave us and values free-will. He doesn;t want anyone to ever make wrong choices, but we do. All of us. Some make evil choices. And to stop suffering means taking free will away. Which He doesn't do. Yes, He does allow suffering, but He also helps us survive it. We are all survivors in this forum.

I know in my case of the most severe trauma, I could have died many times over. I was in the hands of an evil psycho. I could have easily ended my own life as well. But I'm still here. I am very thankful for that. And I was able to move continents to get away from that psycho. I am living in a safe place. And if that is all I can be thankful for and acknowledge at the moment, then that's okay. God knows my heart, He knows what I've been through.

The rest of my relationship with God I will work on when I've been through some more therapy.

 

[Eleanor]

FWIW: Here is my take. It may be a bit medieval.

I may have said it before but there is some comfort in making the distinction between pain, extreme pain, prolonged pain and suffering. Pain is a necessary and from (day to day) a good thing in human beings and other animals. That is, it serves an important function - to keep us from getting injured or further injured (your finger on the stove hurts, so you jerk your hand back and don't burn your whole hand.) We experience extreme pain when an important part of us has been DAMAGED. We have pain because we are alive. Pain comes with life, just like pleasure.

Pain that is prolonged is not (so the pain experts tell me) generally constant - it just SEEMS constant and one way of managing it is to notice those bits where pain is not. There are, without doubt, huge honking waves of pain, but like all waves they are followed by empty troughs. Also, we can become desensitized to pain - so my grandmother could wash dishes in water that was too hot for me even to touch. She said it didn't hurt, and now, desensitized in the same way, I believe her. Sometimes we can defer feeling our pain until it is safe to attend to feeling it. This is a useful trick for surviving in occasionally hostile environments.

Suffering (in the sense I intend it) is different. Suffering is a particular sort of pain that is caused by resistance to feeling regular pain. We suffer when we refuse the pain life has dealt us. When your pet dies, it hurts. Crying and grieving follow. It hurts. We move through the hurt, and it passes. We get on with our lives clear. If we refuse the crying and the grief, if we turn our backs on the honest pain of our loss, then we suffer. "Don't cry" teaches suffering. Suffering can become habitual if we practice it regularly. Abusers are adept at teaching the habit of suffering.

I think God created pain - and it is not a bad thing in itself. People create suffering.

Feeling like you "fell off God's radar" is a rotten place to be. ((((((((Junebug)))))))) If it is any comfort, You are on mine.:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

How sweet you are Eleanor, :hug: back to you.

Well, I am certainly no expert, I can only say what I have experienced. I must disagree that certainly some physical pain is quite constant, such as back pain, breathing trouble, migraines (frequently), destroyed cartilage. But it's just accepted as what it is. Similarly, like you described, it's almost like neuropathy- a loss of feeling. No pain there. I experience and live daily with some of both. I am under no illusions as to what the likely outcomes (physically) will be in the longer-term, my body won't last.

Similarly, there is emotional pain- damage as you said. And losses, grief etc. Life goes on, one tries to have the best attitude about it, avail themselves of tools (like this forum), accept what can't be changed. Perhaps even change their mind as to what they wanted, in so far as truly not having regret, having instead a different perspective, wants and needs.

And then there is suffering, brought on by the above, and by others, ourselves or circumstances. I disagree only in that needs, such as livelihood, assurance of a home, or food etc- the absence or threat of loss of that is suffering. Similarly, as you have said, so is abuse. Virtually every day with that brings pain and/ or suffering.

What I don't understand is, when one gives up virtually everything (that in our culture most espouse) to care for others, or battle to overcome (long term) disasters that occur due to no fault of their own (eg natural disasters etc), and combining that with ptsd and all it tries to limit and requires to overcome such as symptomology, fear, exhaustion, SI, struggles with working, relationships/ trust etc, (and therefore leaves one in many ways very dependent on God and His assistance, when one can only do their maximum), why God would strip one of all they had left, or allow that to occur? That is, take away even the last vestiges of anything to live for, or work towards. I mean, there's 'negative thinking styes', and then there's simply I can not bear this but have no (healthy) options left or alternative but to try to do so when one can no longer.

I think it's almost a domino effect- the more one loses the more losses follow. I have no idea in the Bible what they mean by "for those who have more, more will be given; for those who have less, even that will be taken away", but it certainly seems to apply in terms of faith, hope, or reasons to live. It almost feels (to me) like being hated by God, but even I'm at the point of wondering what I did that was 'this' wrong or to be hated this much.

I am sure life is supposed to be a 'gift', but I can't say with the exception of a few years that it's felt like anything more than something to be endured or 'withstood'.

Mind you, I'm :confused:, lol.

Thank you for being so kind.

 

[Thomas1904]

Hey all

My wife is 18 and has PTSD and she used to be so close to god, but she got abused mentally by her church at a young age. She says she hates all organised religion. I really want her to find god again so he can help her through her illness.

Could anyone give me any advice on this?

 

[Eleanor]

Hi @Thomas1904 There is a new thread on Spiritual Abuse, I'm not sure it is exactly what you are looking for. This is a topic that has come up over the years... you might search religion or spirituality or God and see what threads come up.

I think reading those threads might help you avoid compounding the injury that has already been done. She's not hurt and suffering because she doesn't have enough faith. I hear that you want to help her. I expect the best, and likely terribly difficult, thing for you to do is have faith that she will find her way. Don't push. Just support. Don't argue. Be present with her in whatever she is feeling and going through now. She may always hate organized religion. You have to find a way to be ok with that, just in case. She will never be like you. She will always be uniquely her, with her history and whatever she can manage to make of it.

Just my two cents. Likely worth what you've paid for it.:)