Relationship Family ties

[cladia]

I suppose my only question because of coming from a CPTSD background is, is blood always thicker than water? My step father in law abused my daughter, I should say our daughter but she was from before my marriage to my current husband who I have been with for almost 28 years. He has tested me & made me pay for atleast 25 years of that over "his family", always claims he has a childhood past with them than an adulthood life with me, so can't compete or see life as now be... his parents divorced due to affairs in his teenage year. He's worn rose coloured glasses since then rather than stay in reality but so be it easier for him. He stayed with me when given ultimatum of them or us when his stepfather abused "our daughter" hes now able to live a family life of love & forgiveness for this with blood relatives who damaged not only our marriage but enabled authorities to remove my kids from me, despite effect on "our' daughter & me.. dadeas best & more stable as I try to set boundaries, apparently I'm not normal & he said he should take control & do what he wants... I'm not sute I'm comfortable with this.. but it could be normal & I just don't feel normal I feel trapped & second, third, fourth best... no remorse but just resentment to me..therefore do I mean I'm selfish or would others leave am i wasting my time as his family will always mean more cc

 

[Sweetpea76]

Is blood thicker than water when it comes to my kid being abused? Hell no.

Anybody who indulged or tolerated any kind of abuse of my child could go straight to hell and would never see nor hear from us ever again. They’d be lucky if the cops got there before I did. And if my husband gave me any kind of shit about HIS family who abused MY child he could go to hell with them.

Kiddo comes first. That’s the only blood that matters in this situation.

 

[Friday]

I suppose my only question because of coming from a CPTSD background is, is blood always thicker than water?

In my family it means people are held MORE responsible for their actions, not less.

You do not hurt the people who love you. Full stop.

People who use the …excuse?!?… but they’re faaaaaaamily! (To approve/justify the beating, raping, brutalisation, and cruelty of others). Are off their f*cking rocker, in my book. Bad enough if one is related to someone who attacks strangers, but to use your own family as a victim pool? Excommunicado. Finis. Done. Dead to me, & mine. Wanna be dead for real? Come at me.

 

[Sideways]

He stayed with me when given ultimatum of them or us when his stepfather abused "our daughter"

This is important. He chose you and your daughter. That was the right choice, and definitely in your daughter’s best interests.

hes now able to live a family life of love & forgiveness for this

Does this include allowing your stepfather opportunities to abuse your daughter again? Forgiveness doesn’t always mean giving people a free pass - a lot of people forgive, but still hold people accountable.

enabled authorities to remove my kids from me, despite effect on "our' daughter & me

It’s definitely distressing to have your daughter removed. ‘Enabled’ is very broad - do you mean ‘they’ orchestrated it, or simply didn’t challenge the removal?

Did you challenge that removal? Is your daughter back with you now?

dadeas best & more stable as I try to set boundaries

Can you elaborate on this?

Would it be helpful to actually talk through what hubby is doing that you don’t agree with? Maybe come up with some potential solutions or sources of support…?