General Father with ptsd. Does our son need a therapist?

[Justmehere]

A therapist the best person to sort out if he is struggling with a condition or if his behavior is normal little kid behavior.

It's possible he is mimicking his dad's risk-taking behavior, but even if so, they are both doing the best they can with what they have. You can remind your vet that therapy doesn't mean someone is bad or has made a mistake. It's like going to the dentist for a checkup, only this is a mental health checkup. Nothing more, nothing less. It might be that your son is given a few more tools to have even more success in life. Focus on the possible positive outcomes.

 

[grit]

Two things jumped at me:
A teacher recommending therapist for obscure behaviours.
A mother talking about her child as if she does not exist and does not influence on the child.
An implicit blame/projection on the father creating guilt in him already.


Now the questions I would ask if I was in your situation (which I am not and honestly it is easy saying from the distance and I do nto know exactly what is happening your family overall) are:
Can the child suffer having a parent with PTSD? 100% yes and it can also be deadly and generational trauma.
Can you change yourself to adapt to your child and help him find ways to express himself that are not problematic? Only you can answer that
Do you as the mother need therapist to learn how to deal with a child who is different from you and the father and could this be a game changing? Only you can answer that.
is the father in therapy to learn how not to spill his stuff onto the family bucket? only you can answer.
is the family safe (you and the father) have a safe and harmonious relationship so the child is not feeling out of control as a result? only you can answer that.

It is very easy to put the child in therapy and say fix him! but it is much more probably beneficial for the whole family to look inside and see what is contributing to the child's change of behaviour and are those behaviour temp or adaptive to the environment he is living in?

Again I am looking from outside and probably sitting on my high horse but unfortunately I can also relate to your frustration and your deferential to the teacher but you have more information than the teacher and you can use that to find the solution your family needs./

 

[Sweetpea76]

A mother talking about her child as if she does not exist and does not influence on the child.
An implicit blame/projection on the father creating guilt in him already.

No, what you are seeing is a supporter asking for advice about her sufferer husband’s REACTION to hearing what her sons teacher said, and blaming himself.

Supporter section... keep that in mind.

 

[Dontwannashare]

Of course I do ask myself if I possibly made mistakes bringing him up but that’s not a topic for a ptsd board, is it? I was very young when I had him and it wasn’t really planned and we both just trusted in God and thought if we loved him and spend time with him it was enough.
No, I do not think I need a therapist dealing with him just because he is different from me - and to be honest he isn’t that different from his father, only more talkative. Actually I like this when I see it in him. I married his father for a reason - but I want our son to do well in school and I want him to do well in life and I don’t want him to break his bones.

 

[rightkindofme]

^Completely disagree.

What an immense waste of money. :banghead:

Not sure why you care so much what I do with my money. It doesn't impact you and I didn't tell you what to do with your money.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Ok... let’s bring this thread back on topic. It’s not about the pros and cons of therapy. I think people are bringing their own personal bugaboos into the discussion, and it is not helping.

Again, supporter thread. Keep your personal issues out of it, and move along if it is rubbing you the wrong way. Thread bans will follow if not.