Fear Of "bedtime"

[SnowBirch22]

Can I please have some tips on how to deal with my intense fear of going to sleep at night time? I get panic attacks around the evening when bedtime approaches. I also have a lot of nightmares. I can sleep in the afternoon but at night I want to stay awake until fatigue gets too much before going to bed. Can anyone give me some tips on how to deal with the fear please?

 

[Stickler]

What worked with me was sleeping in my clothes with a light on. Having a buckled belt on, jeans, shirt...and the ceiling light on bright.

...I needed to feel like getting access to my groin would be very difficult, I also needed to have the clothes around me, pressing on me, so I had the tactile sensations of that? As opposed to the body-memory creepy-crawlies.

Meds might help. Diphenhydramine might help. Prasozin seems to help a lot of people in regards to nightmares-it's not an OTC med, you'd need a doctor to prescribe it.

...Mostly I just had to make myself sleep, as scary as it was. Telling myself I am here now, I am safe now, that helped.

I sleep with a large stuffed toy animal, that makes me feel better...
My guy sleeps with a bayonet, that makes him feel better...

I went through a year of needing to sleep on the couch.

 

[sun seeker]

I think a lot of us have this problem. My approach is a lot like @Stickler's. I have to trick myself into sleeping. I do take medication, but this was the case before I resorted to the sleeping pills, as well. The notion of sleep hygiene where you have a routine every evening so you know it's time to relax? Works for some people, but for me, it gets me more and more revved up. Anything I could do to fall asleep while making it seem like I wasn't trying to fall asleep worked better for me. Used to be I could fall asleep propped up on lots of pillows in an almost-sitting position, reading a book until my eyes couldn't stay open. These days trying to read books makes me more anxious so that doesn't work, but I go to sleep with the light on (dimmed), and have given up on trying to sleep in my bedroom. Whatever breaks the association with "this is bedtime" is what I would advise. Leave on lights, TV, whatever you need. (Now try explaining that to the therapists who are all gung ho about sleep hygiene... sigh.)

 

[Friday]

I tend to take a pretty pragmatic approach. PTSD super-jacks my sleep, but I have another disorder that comes along with sleep issues as well, so sleep is always a "thing" for me. How much of a thing depends on a lot of circumstances.

- If I sleep fine in the daytime? ...Switch my schedule around. Voila. I've done this one a few times, a few different ways over the years. Night work is a pretty common one. Another, with my son in school, is dropping him off then sleeping while he's in school.

- If it's an avoidance thing? (Like physical avoidance of space.) ...I move my bed into my living room. <grin> I looooove studio apartments for just this reason / found this work-around on accident from renting one the first time. "Sleep hygiene" rules f*ck me up in general, and this one in particular is one of the worst. Avoiding me bed unless I'm sleeping? Pfft. Makes the whole thing much, much worse. If, however, I'm constantly in/ on/ around my bed? When I see it all day long? It's not lurking, threatening the end of another day, hidden in a room waiting for me to admit defeat... When it's always around. So when I'm sleepy it's no big deal / I'm not fighting it.

- If I have to be exhausted? ...Hello exercise &/or studying. Depends on which kind of exhausted I need to be in order to sleep. Usually, it's both. So if I've had a very intellectual day, I need physical, bad. If it's been a very physical day, I need intellectual bad.

- If it's a light thing? ...I mess about with my lights.

- If it's XYZ... ABC (several other personal issues/ with several other options to address)

- If it's none of the above, so there is no practical solution I can apply? ((Or it's a very one time / short term thing)) Meds.

 

[sun seeker]

"Sleep hygiene" rules f*ck me up in general, and this one in particular is one of the worst. Avoiding me bed unless I'm sleeping? Pfft. Makes the whole thing much, much worse. If, however, I'm constantly in/ on/ around my bed? When I see it all day long? It's not lurking, threatening the end of another day, hidden in a room waiting for me to admit defeat...

Hey Friday, would you mind coming along to my next psych appointment and explaining that please?

Spoken as another person whose bed is now in the living room... I get it.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

I'm up 3 hours past when I was going to make me go to bed. Last "night", I didn't get to bed until 8:30 AM, after my husband left, and slept for 2 hours. My brain and body are messed up because of chronic lack of sleep. My husband is snoring, the bedroom is pitch black (I need all the lights on). I'm desperate for sleep but no way am I going in there.

I know better, and this isn't any help to you, but hopefully you won't feel so alone.
:hug:

 

[sun seeker]

My husband is snoring, the bedroom is pitch black. I'm desperate for sleep but no way am I going in there.

Sounds awful, I empathize.

What happens if you lie on the couch and don't try going into the bedroom?

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Thank you, @sun seeker, dear!

My living situation is difficult. The only other option when I wrote that was a sleeping bag on the cement floor in the garage (where I camp out, often, but my body can't take it right now).

I physically broke down the next night, so I'm in a temporary room with a bed.