Fed Up

[Justsomeone]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything... if just been suffering really badly recently. I have started my final year at uni and I have had so much support from people that I feel I have nothing to complain about. I am struggling though, struggling big time. It's like my mind is over drive. Doesn't stop thinking. I question continuously if people are annoyed at me, whether I should have done this or that. Always thinking super negatively about everything. I have a big assignment due in 2 months and I don't feel I can cope with it. I'm deflated and fed up, and want to "disappear" and "just be left alone" those are the two things always on my mind just disappear and left alone. At the moment I hate the world, I hate life, I hate everything. What's worse is I punish myself, especially when my family or friends are upset. Because I haven't got the strength the motivation to make them feel better when I hardly can make me feel okay. I just feel useless, and I want everything to go away!!

 

[joeylittle]

I'm sorry to ask the obvious - but, have you thought about getting some mental health support? It would probably help.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

Trauma can cause all of those symptoms/reactions. Even if you don't have a particular disorder, it sounds like talking to a counselor could help you. Does your school have a counseling center?

 

[BlueOrange]

It sounds like people have wanted to support you. They don't always know how to support someone in ways that actually help. Given that you've been suffering for months, it does sound like it's time for professional help.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((Justsomeone))) :hug:
Here's a hug...if that's ok. I sure could have written every word you wrote, except the part about your schooling.

I MUST CONGRATULATE you on having gotten so far in uni!!! I was always too afraid that I wasn't smart enough. Paper after paper, with deadlines and homework...just thinking about it all kind of makes me panicky! Is it possible that you are just about
"burned out?":wideeyed:

I wonder if you have a history of trauma? Sometimes those things will come up when you are stressed, or if you are a young adult.

I am not sure why...but that is when a lot of people, including me start having symptoms of depression and anxiety. I didn't know how to LIVE. Maybe you are wondering what is next, after graduation?

(Looking back, I had symptoms when I was younger, but didn't know they had a name.)

About your paper that is due in a couple months. Could you start making little notes, even now, about what ideas and points you would want to make? It might be like taking small steps at a time, the way one climbs a mountain.

This Forum is GREAT place to find strength in sharing your thoughts and feelings. We have all struggled, or are struggling, and there isn't always someone close by that you want to share your thoughts and feelings with. (a little encouragement to join our
"family")

I REALLY struggle with other people being upset, especially with me. To me, I have discovered in therapy, expressing any negative feelings or emotions, might lead to abandonment.

I would never have figured that out without help. @joeylittle mentioned getting some mental health support... and I agree. Maybe you just need someone to talk to, that is not related to you, and has no ties to your friends or family.

It's worth a try to be able to vent your frustrations and feelings. It can lessen the
round and round thinking of wanting to disappear and wanting to be left alone.

Best of blessings being sent your way!

AKJ