Feel Myself Slipping, Cut Myself Again This Past Week

[MouseWedger]

Keep writing Ronin, I know it has definitely helped me. Keep trying to be around people as well (people who make you feel good), sometimes even though we don't want to be around people it helps make us feel connected to something during those detachment periods if we can see them near us.
Hugs and happy thoughts
Mouse

 

[freakofnurture]

Hey ronin, what emotions are fuelling your urge to cut? There are several different strategies to adress these emotions and/or fulfill the needs implicated in them in a way other than cutting.

EDIT: Sorry, I somehow skipped the two short paragraphs in the end of your post.

You say heavy loneliness that's painful to bear makes you want to cut to take your mind off of them. I guess there's home sickness involved, too, and sadness about the way your brother's behaviour has changed. Hm...

Is there really no way you could seek company? Interact with some animals, maybe at a shelter? Have you ever talked about his behaviour to your brother? Maybe he doesn't know that he's changed so much.

It's not much, but you need to stay pro-active if you want to stop slipping. Do something to improve your situation; even very little things can have a considerable effect.

 

[Javagoat]

(((Ronin))) I am sorry that you're in so much pain. It sucks. My older sister recently contributed to making my depression worse. She is making very negative life choices and it is painful for me to hear about. I was already really depressed. I do feel like cutting sometimes to relieve the intensity of the pain. I just try to hang on until the urge to cut passes. It helps if I talk about it.

 

[Srain]

(((((((((((((Ronin)))))))))))))))

I miss my Brother too, there are complicated dynamics involved with him as well, there always have been so my heart especially goes out to you on this. Being a cutter myself and having just recently struggled with it, I get that it is also a complicated issue as well as can be embarrassing.

Please don't let it stop you from writing or connecting with people. If you don't have a tdoc there are crisis lines, anonymous numbers you can call. I've called them and been able to diffuse my space any time of day or night. It's been difficult to call but I have recently done it when all else has failed me inside, they are kind and caring people. It's a good tool to have.

I try to keep in mind that I don't deserve to be hurt any more, do you?? I say NO! You matter :)

rain

 

[Srain]

((((((((((((Ronin47)))))))))))

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Ronin, just popped in to let you know I'm thinking of you. I was wondering how you were doing.
Linking arms
(((HUGS)))

 

[ronin47]

That's very kind of you KP. I'm still struggling, but I'm feeling more hopeful than before. I had an "emergency session" with my therapist this week, even though I still doubt if what I've been going through could be called an "emergency." I feel a little better equipped now.

Thank you all for the wonderful support. I'm overwhelmed by everyone's kindness. I don't know what I would do without you guys.

 

[KP the nut]

I had an "emergency session" with my therapist this week, even though I still doubt if what I've been going through could be called an "emergency.".

Regardless of what you think, your therapist would not have seen you if he hadn't thought it an emergency. It is time to be selfish, you deserve his time.

I feel a little better equipped now.

That's great Ronin, reach out here when you need/want to.

((HUGS))
KP