had a dream i was cutting myself again and it felt good

[William_Peters]

This makes sense to me too. I've struggled for many years as well. It's only been a little while since I last cut. Maybe 3 months, but before that it was probably a year or more. I feel the shame and guilt afterward, but I like the pain and marks/cuts afterward. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else or not. For me, it's like the invisible suffering and pain is made visible and tangible and real.

Thank you for sharing that. What you said about invisible suffering feeling visible and real makes sense to me.

I appreciate hearing from someone who understands the struggle. It can be difficult to talk about these things with people who have never experienced them.