Feel too pressured to lead session w/ psychoanalytic t... am i doing it wrong? how does this work?

[Orange]

My T is psychoanalytic.
He has great reviews. All 5 stars across the web. (different sites)
I have seen him 6 times already.
Talked about my issues.
and now i dont know what to talk about.

I talk, he listens and says okay you want to improve this and we talk a little on the subject.
he will say like i can see why you do this...or why you would want to change.
then nothing.
i feel so pressured to continue talking or bring up something different.
as he sits there, staring at me.

Am i doing it wrong?
he is very experienced and again has great reviews(i checked most are not made up or fake)
how am i not benefiting from this?
his schedule is pretty booked up as well.

i have an appt next week and i am dreading it.
what will i talk about, that i have not already.
i already told him my problems.
but he hasnt asked any indepth questions and give me any insight.

how does this type of therapy work?

what do i do after the awkward silence. bring up something completely different and off topic?
like abrupt change in subject?

i may leave him altogether, just want to make sure i am not missing something here.
i am putting my best effort. i want to make use of his experience .

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I don't understand that type of therapy either. Seems like we could all make a lot of money sitting and staring at someone as they talk. Have you researched all of your therapy options? I have been having some success with emdr.

 

[Orange]

hahaa...totally !!!
i am just getting thrown off how so many others have benefitted from this and i am like really? how did THIS guy help you ? and he is not able to help me.
maybe i need to go a few times...well i went 6 times..and hmm..nothing.

i should just stop going...but at the back of my head ..i am thinking maybe i am not doing this right.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

hahaa...totally !!!
i am just getting thrown off how so many others have benefitted from this and i am like really? how...

I would talk about that to him. About how you don't understand this type of therapy and question its benefit and how it is supposed to help.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi if that's how your feeling... It's OK to get another therapist... Maybe a woman this time who specialises in trauma..?

Also texcat has suggested you talk to him... I think that's a great idea if you feel you can.

I have seen 3 therapists... The 2nd one was excellent

 

[NewBeginnings]

We all have different communication styles -this doesn’t sound like a fit - you can talk with him about it but it could be that the fit is not right.

I have reflected upon my experience and feel fortunate that the first therapist I saw has been a great fit for me- that said I spoke to 6 different therapists on the phone and didn’t pursue for one reason or another - scheduling, insurance, one told me that she would see me if I didn’t need to see her weekly, another said as long as I wasn't going to need medication, - quite frankly I didn’t know what I needed and the therapist I finally met with was kind and warm in her tone so I went with it. When we spoke in person I found a number of connections that I thought she may be good for me - she gets me. My point is that you may not know why it isn’t the right fit but if you have been questioning this for some time maybe bring up that up - be truthful and explore other options.

 

[Butterfygirl]

I felt like this too for a long time at the start of my sessions with my T. She would rarely talk. As I got more comfortable with her I found it easier and she also started to realise I needed some input from her wether it was in the form of questions or even just repeating back what I had said and validating with it. This type of therapy takes time. I would talk to your T about it and as you become more comfortable you might find that even though you think you have talked about all of your problems other things start to pop up that may or may not be related to these problems.

 

[EveHarrington]

I honestly don't think psychoanalytic therapy is the best for ptsd. It's never been a top recommended therapy from all the research I've done on healing PTSD. I'd move on and find something like CBT or DBT or exposure therapy or EMDR.

You're probably doing nothing wrong. All those 5 star reviews are probably from people who need nothing more than someone who listens and nods every so often------not people with deep seeded trauma issues.

 

[zoie33]

I agree with Eve 100%. I have never understood psychoanalysis and I don't think it is made to help people with problems like PTSD. I would look for a trauma specialist who will give you more guidance and teach you grounding and coping skills.

 

[UnicornSightings]

My first therapist was like that. I stuck her out for 4-5 months or so. It was TORTURE!!!!!! I couldn’t take the silence! I BEGGED her to talk! She actually really sucked (as I found some confidence I realized how she was disrespectful but that’s another subject). I felt SOOOO much anxiety and where I was at that point in my life, that wasn’t a good fit. I found my last therapist and had her for 2 and a half years. It was much better! Having said that, NOW if I wanted to go to another therapist I’d probably choose psychoanalysis. Because I’m pretty self-aware and more confident. You’ve gone through the easy part. The saying the obvious part. Now you’re starting the work (if you continue). And that part SUCKS lol. All your crap will show. All your nervousness. Your awkwardness. Your defense mechanisms. Everything. It’s a beautiful thing to just be HEARD and have a space for that but it’s completly ok if you need someone right now who offers more feedback. I guess the question is, why are you in therapy to begin with? What exactly do you need to address and how do you want to get there? I feel like psychoanalysis is a bit like spoken journaling. Only your journal will chime in once in awhile. Some people love to journal and others can’t bear it. Ha! Oddly a few years ago I hated journaling and now I love it so maybe that’s why I’m into it. And psychoanalysis is longterm (generally) therapy. I would, before you bail, see if your t can offer you some guidance on how to proceed. Maybe bring a list of your concerns. It can be a very rewarding form of therapy if you have the time and money for the long haul.