I'm trying very hard to heal and the emotion that is overcoming me recently is anger. I feel angry that what someone else did to me has inflicted so much pain, that I can't seem to get my life together, that I feel very out of control and victimized. I feel like a burden to everyone around me and that everything is one step forward, two steps back. I'm not sure how to move through this stage. Any tips?
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Feeling Angry
- Post starter missd84
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Lady of Longbourn
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This is what I was feeling like recently. It was getting so bad I was worried I would physically hurt myself ( I have many thoughts of doing so often violently).
I talked with my T. I told my husband, this is how I felt, this is what I am feeling. I finally just talked. I opened up. It took a while but I rode it out. Now I feel like I am finally improving for the better and long term.
Sorry its not much in the way of tips. But its a big step to take, you know? For your own mental health. Its like telling everyone " Okay, I can do this."
Do you have anyone you can talk to like this? Just things like " I suddenly thought of burning my hand on the stove. I felt this way because I felt like a burden. I am/did ground myself by listening to music."
Sounds silly. But it helped me. Now I am a little more open to being open. I hope some day it will come naturally.
I talked with my T. I told my husband, this is how I felt, this is what I am feeling. I finally just talked. I opened up. It took a while but I rode it out. Now I feel like I am finally improving for the better and long term.
Sorry its not much in the way of tips. But its a big step to take, you know? For your own mental health. Its like telling everyone " Okay, I can do this."
Do you have anyone you can talk to like this? Just things like " I suddenly thought of burning my hand on the stove. I felt this way because I felt like a burden. I am/did ground myself by listening to music."
Sounds silly. But it helped me. Now I am a little more open to being open. I hope some day it will come naturally.
Wow, this is stuff that I find comes in waves. For me the anger can come in RAGE and also deceptive targeting, meaning I can impose it on others over other things and blow it up until I realize underneath is that same anger/rage - another wave that needs addressing.
Alby and Bloom have written about riding the surf...talk about it, write about it, feel it through..ride over it.... I believe in these things.
I have a Trauma Therapist but I also have to write and deal with this on my own when not with her. Do you draw, paint, scream, workout, use a punching bag, walk, run, meditate?
Each of us use many different ways to deal with the anger that comes from our traumas. They do come, for me the waves, some are higher/harder/ meaner/rougher than others. But being able to know I am not alone ALWAYS HELPS. ......you are not alone.
Peace in healing,
Rain
Alby and Bloom have written about riding the surf...talk about it, write about it, feel it through..ride over it.... I believe in these things.
I have a Trauma Therapist but I also have to write and deal with this on my own when not with her. Do you draw, paint, scream, workout, use a punching bag, walk, run, meditate?
Each of us use many different ways to deal with the anger that comes from our traumas. They do come, for me the waves, some are higher/harder/ meaner/rougher than others. But being able to know I am not alone ALWAYS HELPS. ......you are not alone.
Peace in healing,
Rain
I actually think that recognizing and experiencing anger is just another phase of processing and coming to terms with what has happened to us. In fact I think that for some people anger can be one of the very hardest emotions to actually accept and come to terms with, one of the ones that can be very deeply buried. Yet for others it can rise to the surface easily, in waves, and can come and go, ebb and flow, as others have described.
However and whenever it manifests for you, I think the first thing is to make sure to acknowledge and validate it as real and warranted and normal and healthy. You no doubt have a right to your anger and to have it heard by those who are trustworthy and have the capacity to receive it. Obviously, channelling it safely and constructively is the key, hence the need to talk about it openly and find other, often physical, means of expressing it as others have said.
I think it's easy to be scared of anger because it can feel so intense and potentially dangerous and out of control. For me, I know that I can feel as though I will lose myself underneath it if I allow it to take hold too tightly, and so I know I have resisted and defended against it perhaps more strongly than any other emotion. But it has its place and its time, and we shouldn't be afraid of it, but just to prepare to manage it to our best advantage.
Maddog
However and whenever it manifests for you, I think the first thing is to make sure to acknowledge and validate it as real and warranted and normal and healthy. You no doubt have a right to your anger and to have it heard by those who are trustworthy and have the capacity to receive it. Obviously, channelling it safely and constructively is the key, hence the need to talk about it openly and find other, often physical, means of expressing it as others have said.
I think it's easy to be scared of anger because it can feel so intense and potentially dangerous and out of control. For me, I know that I can feel as though I will lose myself underneath it if I allow it to take hold too tightly, and so I know I have resisted and defended against it perhaps more strongly than any other emotion. But it has its place and its time, and we shouldn't be afraid of it, but just to prepare to manage it to our best advantage.
Maddog
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