Feeling Better And Relationships Falling Apart

[anni]

Oh Gloria,

You're upset because you're a lovely person with lovely intentions who just plain expects others to behave well also. It's terribly upsetting to have done the right thing consistantly but be in a position where you absolutly are pushed out of your comfort zone. It's sometimes a no-win situation, since the only answer is to shut oneself off from all human relationships. We can't quite do that so keep getting pushed like this. The risks are worth it-there are other lovely people out there, of course. Finding them can be a puzzle but they're there.

I'd write more but can't-the fingers are dreadfully tingly/ouchy tonight. I did just want to make sure you did know you did the right thing, of course. What is upsetting is that it had to be done in the first place, and you're in this postition. This is on her head, not yours.

I'm thinking of you- and will write when whatever it is which is squished decides to switch postion and lets up on the fingers. Please try to give yourself a peaceful night, my nice friend.

xo

Anni

 

[Gloria]

Thanks everyone for telling me I did the right thing! I needed that!

Isn't it awful how you can have so many terrible problems with neighbors. About twenty five years I got into an argument with a neighbor because I asked her to get her son to stop bullying my son and other kids in the neighborhood. (Beginning of 20 year fued) Okay, this is so petty but my other son was only two years old and he had to pee and decided to pull down his pants in front of my house so the jerks across the street called the police on my toddler for exposing himself. (@#$%!!) The feud began! The vandalism and the noise and the conflict that I had to deal with for twenty years taught me to bend over backwards to get along with neighbors. They did everything they possibly could to make my life miserable.

I didn't want to have the same thing happen so I put up with a lot and try never to get into conflicts with neighbors. Unfortunately, my calling the animal control (not even the police) is going to cost me thousands of dollars now. When animal control went to the neighbor's house, they found out she had chickens which she wasn't zoned for and charged her with animal cruelty and neglect. They were fined hundred of dollars and told they were not zoned for chickens.

Well, now the fun begins! Now I am a law breaker! I am a criminal! They told the police that when I walk my dogs I carry the leash but don't attach it (so therefore my dog is loose and I should be fined. It's true! I just trip over the leash and my dogs are so well trained that they walk by right by my side.They NEVER run off but stay right by my side. I can expect to get harrassed all the time now for every little thing. Oh well!!

You have a choice of standing up for what's right but then you have to be willing to take the consequences I guess. I hate this!

 

[NIKI]

Gloria, You really did do the right thing trying to protect the dogs! You did nothing wrong. It is just that bitter bi*ch of a neighbor that can't admit she was wrong so now has to make you misrable. I hate people like her and I have also come across some in my lifetime. Please just keeping holding your head up high like you always have! You seems like such a wonderful person, I'm sorry she is trying to take out her bad behavior on you. You were in the right and she was wrong and she does know that! Keep taking good care of yourself. I hope it's ok if I give you a hug. ((((hug)))). NIKI

 

[Gloria]

It's worse than I thought. My neighbors are very, very strange people. The woman is a religious fanatic and her husband is on disability because he has a problem with anger. He's on some heavy duty medication and is seeing a psychiatrist. I may have made a very bad mistake by causing any kind of problem with them. All afternoon, the man is shooting his gun in his yard along the fence that's near my horses. He is very aware that it freaks my horses out completely and they could get injured by running into a fence or worst yet trying to jump the fence to get away from the noise.

I did call the police on him earlier this year when he was really angry at his wife and started shooting his gun in the yard. Well, according to the police, this man is allowed to shoot his gun for target practice and that's what he says he's doing.

I'm thinking: 1. Man with anger issues. 2. Man with gun, 3. Man who is very angry at me, 4. Man who is taking really heavy medication and slurring his words and not seeming rational. Tonight I just don't feel as confidant and secure as I have been feeling. For the first time in weeks, I am laying in my bed feeling the terror. I am going to have the police come out on Monday to talk to him but I didn't want to call them tonight because I think it's best to let things calm down.

Despite his retaliation I know I did the right thing. I am not afraid of him coming after me but I am afraid that the **shole might shoot one of my horses. This is the sick part. If he does shoot my horse, he won't go to jail. He can just say it was an accident.

I am sure that every single on this site has someone/ or had someone in their life who was a kook like this. Thanks for your support and if you are going through something like this, I hope I can be of support to you. Despite how crappy I feel, I am handling it much better than I would have handled it before I started coming on this site.

 

[Iam]

HI Gloria,
I am so sorry. I understand. We have neighbors like yours, the husband has huge anger issues. The property easement thing I was talking about. They started shooting their guns off and actually threatened our dogs. Came down and said "We are shooting coyotes so you might want to keep your dogs in. It would be a shame if one of your dogs got hit." Very sarcastically. Lots of yelling. The jerk even speeds up to spray gravel on me if I am anywhere near the road when he drives by.

It all left me shaking, scared and unable to sleep. Hang in there Gloria, things will settle down.

 

[NIKI]

Oh Gloria, I am so sorry this is happening to you! I'm very conserned for you and your horses. I am not going through anything right now but....I used to have a neighbor that was crazy!!!!!! She threatened to kill me and tried to run me down with her car. I got a restraining order against her and then she finally moved. Thank God. You seem to be a wonderful person and you do not deserve this at all. Be Safe hon, I'm saying a prayer for you.

 

[Gloria]

Well, it's Monday morning and I will call the police (non-emergency) and ask them what to do about neighbor shooting gun. I am very proud of how I didn't get totally freaked out by this. Yesterday, I was feel edgy so I cleaned my house from very early morning to almost midnight putting the adrenalin to good use.

Apparently, it is against the law to shoot a firearm in residential area. I didn't react and call when he was shooting. I thought it would ask fuel to the fire.

 

[Gloria]

Well, it's been over a week and I no longer feel any guilt for calling animal control on my neighbors. In fact, after I thought about how they treated the dogs, lied to me and terrified my horses with guns (and could have killed them), I am ready to have them put in jail if they ever mess with me again.

I had the other problem with my ex-best friend who got disowned me because I didn't play Farmville with her on Facebook and respond to her chain letter e-mails. Well, I wrote her a letter but didn't mail it. But my friends kind of made fun of me because I am such a soft hearted person and said that I would never mail the letter. Well, I did!! Yep, and I don't feel bad about it. I just expressed my disgust for her behavior and made it very clear that I didn't want any further contact with her. I actually did use the "b" word in the letter. I think she deserved it. It does make me feel uncomfortable to stand up for myself but I am trying to change. Maybe next time I encounter rude and disrespectful people, I will be able to be more assertive.

I already decided that if my neighbor comes up to me and starts yelling, I am not going to freak out. I am going to stand and laugh at them. I have this really wicked witty sense of humor. I used it in my job in Corporate America. I would stand and look someone straight in the eye and say something very insulting but so discreet that I couldn't get in trouble. I would have this innocent smile on my face when I totally trashed someone. It's called passive-aggressive on purpose and if you aren't allowed to express yourself normally, it works well.

If the man down the street starts screaming at me, I decided I would just smile at him and say "You seem a little off today. Have you been taking your medication like a good boy?" It will just piss him off. He is on medications for anger. If he does get mean, I actually bought a handheld cattle prod which I carry with me when walking my dogs down the street. If he dares to touch me, he will get zapped. I am feeling very assertive and it feels wicked but I feel good!! My family and friends don't like the new me! That's because they could manipulate and take advantageof the old me!!

 

[anni]

Funny how healing pops up when we don't even know we've got some in there, isn't it? I couldn't believe how well I handled that scumbucket phoning me last week, even if I DID perhaps go over the top a tad It just felt so GOOD not cave and be pushed around for once. A cattle prod, hmmm. That's a whole new take on the riding crop I habitually carry around- sort of the electric version!

I'm really glad you feel this way and isn't it rather pleasant for once? Do be careful, though, he does sound like a geunine Kook of some sort. Oh well, even a Kook has to be awfully wary of a nice lady walking her dogs with a cattle prod. :)

Keep taking such good care of yourself now, ok? :)

 

[Gloria]

Anni,
Just having the comradery and the support of this site has made a little ferocious lioness. I have to hold myself back but all fear have left and I am not about to let it take hold again. We will not allow people to intimidate us any longer!!

Remember in all the scarey movies we watch, the "monster" or villain is getting inside the house and in the movie, the victim always tries to call on the phone but the phone line is disconnected. Well, when we are on this forum, the phone line is not disconnected. We connect. We call. We ask for help and recieve it.

So no more nightmares for me trying to call for help and the phone not working. I have this forum!

Good job!
Hugs!
Gloria

 

[NIKI]

You Go Girl! Glad you are sticking up for yourself! ((((HUGS)))) NIKI

 

[Gloria]

I didn't do it by myself. I did it with a little help with friends. I put that song on my MP3 player. I get by with a little with a little help from my friends. I can smile with a little help from my friends!

Thanks so much!!