Feeling Desperate And Stuck

[SpiritFree]

Wow it has been 1 month and 2 weeks I started this new job but I am still making mistakes, I'm stilling not grasping verbal instructions, I'm still dealing with short term memory, unable to quote back what customers on the phone say or what I have said to them. It just get worse and worse. I was told to wait until they fire me or get a doctor letter to back me up. Meanwhile, I'm making a fool out of myself and feel so ashame that I'm falling into Depression.

I won't have an appointment with doctor until August 2. How long must I continue suffer. Yes if I just resign now, I do not have enough funds to pay my bills. I regret accepting this job in the first place after being unemployed for 4 years.

What would you folks do if you were in my shoes?

 

[pixel]

Does your boss know about your PTSD?

 

[SpiritFree]

@pixel

No, no ones knows but my doctor. I have finally got it out. My doctor has schedule me for a CT scan and a EEG and I think a Psychologist. I kept this secret to myself all these years since I was a child in order to protect my abuser.

 

[pixel]

It depends on your relationship with your boss, but it may be helpful for him/her to know.
Even just explaining you have a 'health issue that can affect your memory' may suffice.

Don't give up on yourself!

Try and use strategies to help your memory:

• Grab pen/paper when answering calls, write notes.
• speak slowly and calmly (this sometimes causes people to respond in like manner, and makes you sound confident!)
• When receiving instructions, immediately write it down,
• Repeat instructions back for clarity
• Visualise yourself doing the task (sometimes i remember easier if I imagine it in a funny way — if asked to mop the stairs, imagine sending a bucket of water cascading down the stairwell)
• Allow yourself a 'breather', a minute or so to mentally self soothe, commend yourself and re-focus.

I hope this helps you get through the next week til you see the Doc.

 

[expectingbetter]

You are only a human and you are allowed to make mistakes as everybody else is. No matter you have PTSD or not, all around us people can't remember something and can't learn something and make mistakes.
Don't be upset over that. And month and a half is nowhere enough to become competent in any job.
Don't be harsh to yourself, but praise yourself because you are doing an amazing thing with working after 4 years of not doing so.
I would stick to that job some more time as it is paying me bills and it's good thing after unemployment.

 

[SpiritFree]

Well folks, yesterday I was terminated from my job. I suspected it back in July 15, when I was suppose to work another hour to have every other Friday off, that did not occur, so that told me alot. Anyway, I was called in by by supervisor and was given a pink slip. I was told that I was under-performing what the job entailed. I was told that I only learned the basic of the task but I needed to still be further deeper. I had to multitask which I could do but I was slow due to the fact the task I learned I had to do sparingly once a week or every other day and also I had to keep reminded myself of the little things that the supervisor hates regarding files and what type of clips to use (binder or paper) sigh. Well the slip states that I have been rejected as a "reject probationer" and stating that I am unsatisfactory for permanent employee and is rejected. I feel like a big relief. I do have an EEG test coming up in September so I hope something can be found to explain why I'm unable to grasp anything being explained. I was also given a choice for "Voluntary Resignation" but I refused but had this one. Due to the fact, maybe just maybe I can get unemployment. Now I can relax and not have a heavy burden to force my brain to over perform. I recall during my interview to get this job, I was told it would take way more than 2 weeks to learn all the ropes, now it is 1 and 3 weeks and I'm still trying to learn when I should have been more involved deeper. O well when I was notified I felt this sense of relief and I did not take it personal nor did I panic. I was "FREE AT LAST". I like to see this as another adventure in my life. Now I'm looking for forward to what is the next adventure stored in me. I refuse to let this job define as stupid. I'm thinking of taking Accounting Classes or something. Thank you for letting me rant.