feeling desperate for positive touch

[jackques]

Currently, I'm sort of "dating" this guy I know. I feel so desperate for positive touch that I cant tell whether or not I'm getting into it for the right reason... Sometimes we're sitting next to each other, our arms brush, and I feel like I could explode from the longing I have for love and acceptance. But this makes me feel so needy and disgusting, to know that I'm so reliant on the idea of being loved instead of hurt.

Does anyone experience this? If so, what do you do about it?

 

[Friday]

I feel so desperate for positive touch that I cant tell whether or not I'm getting into it for the right reason...

Could you try to incorporate positive touch into your life from other sources, so that you’re not quite so parched / can trust your judgement about whether this guy really is a tall glass of water or just a puddle of moose drool?

Weekly massage, contact sports or arts (like dance), volunteering to hold babies in the NICU, etc.?

 

[blackemerald1]

this guy really is a tall glass of water or just a puddle of moose drool?

^^ :hilarious: - But seriously - exactly that. Or a regular Pedicure/Manicure/facial. So many ways to touch and be touched if you are needing it.

Remember if you appear desperate you will probably scare the hell out of him and he might run away. :oops:

So if you are feeling desperate get rid of some of that angst in other ways first.

Once you have settled yourself down a little from the desperate to touch stage, you will be able to see if it really is magical. :)

 

[jackques]

Could you try to incorporate positive touch into your life from other sources, so that you’re not quite so parched / can trust your judgement about whether this guy really is a tall glass of water or just a puddle of moose drool?

Weekly massage, contact sports or arts (like dance), volunteering to hold babies in the NICU, etc.?

Thank you, that's a good idea. I think I have some ideas for that to work out.

 

[Candleflames]

Those are all some great ideas. Out here where I live we have cat cafes where you can borrow a kitty to pet and sip your coffee. I also like to visit the off leash dog park just to play with someone's puppers.

Cuddle parties are also a thing up here. I found people for platonic friendships that include positive nonsexual touch through hobby groups at the local community centers and apps for my phone.

 

[EveHarrington]

Those are all some great ideas. Out here where I live we have cat cafes where you can borrow a kitty to pet and sip your coffee. I also like to visit the off leash dog park just to play with someone's puppers.

Cuddle parties are also a thing up here. I found people for platonic friendships that include positive nonsexual touch through hobby groups at the local community centers and apps for my phone.

Have you found cuddle parties that don’t cost an arm and a leg?

I know there are cat cafes just south of me. I think I might go!

 

[Candleflames]

I've never had to pay for attending a cuddle party. I've heard of professional cuddlers. I just know people in the relationship anarchy camps that promote healthy touch as part of their expressing affection for all. Consent is huge and gone over at each party, for new people and old hats alike.

 

[EveHarrington]

I've never had to pay for attending a cuddle party. I've heard of professional cuddlers. I just know people in the relationship anarchy camps that promote healthy touch as part of their expressing affection for all. Consent is huge and gone over at each party, for new people and old hats alike.

I think I’ll stick to cats. I have a hard time with “neutral” touch. Thanks though!

 

[blackemerald1]

Ok I'm really ignorant so please enlighten me... what are 'cuddle parties'?? I mean I have a visualisation but I'm sure it's not correct. :sorry:

 

[Abstract]

Apparently you dress up in your pajamas, meet and do a giant group cuddle session. No sexual over or undertones.

 

[blackemerald1]

Apparently you dress up in your pajama

^^ :hilarious: I saw an Episode of 'Idiot Abroad" where Carl was placed in a situation like that but I thought it was all contrived for the camera and Carl... ie not true... bc it is too weird and err yuk.. trying not to cringe at the idea... lol...

 

[Candleflames]

Yeah it's basically a come in comfy cuddle clothes and after an introductory time people group up into cuddle groups. Usually there's a host that knows the guests well and has chosen compatible people to their event.

I totally get the yuk factor. I do not attend every party I'm invited to. There has to be some discernment and finding a good fit.