Feeling Guilty With Maturation of Son......

[pandora]

My son in the last two years and sprouted and also put on quite a bit of weight, even though his diet has really been the same. I know it is the med fluvoxamine....anyone else taken that?

I have found that i can't lift him in fact he lifts and moves me, He looks like a clone to his father especially since his height is rising gradually. His meldowns are few and fewer between.....
ad or pounded over my head, self harm to himself and a lot of control. i left when my sons was 18 months and he strangled me in front of MY SON...I left and never looked back,
Now that he is maturing, a lot of their manerisms are alike....too much to explain........I am working on this in therapy but it freaks me out when he has a meltdown, I freeze, quite literally I have to run away from him amd ;lock myself in the bathroom unttil he calms town.......BUT........as he is screaming Mommy ( Now I am locked in the bathroom, he is on the outside of the door, yelling........don't hit me Mommy..I NEVER hit him...or scream stop, stop, i am not even in the room. People ouside most certainly think I am beating him in here, meanwhile i am in the bathroom trying not to let the behaviour and the similarity the is becoming his father with manipulation. I hope we are able to tackle that thru highchool so he can be so unlike his Dad..... look to ensure i calm down and put things in
perspective.I know he is not my abusing husband but know that he is getting older, and i smaller........I hope he is able to overcome this and I don't want my own sons face to be a trigger........feels like that and i have been feeling quite angry in regards to this................I love my son and I hope as he matures and the meltdowns diminish it, I will, we will better off.
I hope.

 

[UmightKnowMe]

Wow I can REALLY relate to a lot of what you are saying here! My son is 'on the spectrum' and takes Respiradone...it has caused him to put on some weight too but the benefits outweigh that so we keep him on it. And as he is a teenager he has definately hit his growth spurt and towers over me physically as well. Usually he is very gentle and doesn't set me off...but a few times lately I have been uncomfortable with him and felt really guilty about that because this is my SON! My baby! How could I confuse him with this person from way back then?

Luckily he doesnt have meltdowns often anymore...his medicine REALLY helps him...plus he has worked really hard with HIS therapist and is good at heading them off for himself now.

I have talked to my therapist about this happening and she says it would be normal for me to feel freaked if someone of his size was restraining me or trying to move me around physically. We are going to discuss how to communicate to him that he REALLY is a big person and has to be sensitive to how intimidating he can be.

 

[morgan]

Pandora, i really don't know what say except :Hug_emoticon:

I do know that the more you face your triggers, the better you'll be able to handle them.

Take care of yourself, Morgan

 

[FlameTachiku]

Pandora,

I think we could talk about our son's for hours. Mine is 6 foot tall. When he was a baby I called him snuggles until he came down with the symptoms of autism and did not know or have interactions with people anymore. He would just walk on me like the furniture he turned upsidown all the time. Did you get that one? Now he snuggles again but he is TOO BIG to get into my lap. I still get smashed. For years not a coherent word. Now words never stop! Sarcasm, polictics, opinions, obessions. Obessions do you know much about that? Bet you do. I learned every word of star wars, lord of the rings, pokemon, death note (manga) and now, oh my, republican politic's-rush, beck, and so on. Oh ya, he looks like his dad. I'm just not going there, ya know-the avoidence thing. Oh, then school-OMG. Anyways, just here to say I'm with you on this one!

About the door and the bathroom well--as hard as it is we may have to stay with him, just a bit more. Then when he is through with the meltdown run into the bathroom and if you can get into and out of the bath that would help, or maybe have a lavender candle to burn for 15 minutes. There are many studies on the calming effects of lavender. I had to train myself not to react to meltdowns in a predicatable way if he was not harming himself or others. Brief disasociation? i don't know but I made it happen. I learned to not give any satisfactory predicable response to negative behaviors. They decreased over time when he did not get anything in return for the behaviors. I still always point out what he does well, right, and good. Any positive thing that he does around the house I state what he did and thank him. For example, when he gets the garbage into the garbage can.

I am sure you have every bit as much training as I do! It just some times in the middle of it all it is so hard to think! At least that is the way it is for me. So :occasion: and:Hug_emoticon:
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