Feeling guilty for blaming deaf parents for their actions

[millennialcoda]

Just found this thread and am recently delving deeper into my CPTSD with EMDR and Ketamine therapy, as a CODA. Growing up in a deaf household with parents who are battling their own trauma and mental illness is tragically difficult. I really recommend reading What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo (this book helped me understand myself and the depths of what generational trauma can do) and From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. I wish I could type more about this right now, but finding this thread alone is overwhelming and exciting at the same time. So maybe I'll pop back on here to see if there's any update. Just know that you're not alone.

 

[Bookreader68]

Just found this thread and am recently delving deeper into my CPTSD with EMDR and Ketamine therapy, as a CODA. Growing up in a deaf household with parents who are battling their own trauma and mental illness is tragically difficult. I really recommend reading What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo (this book helped me understand myself and the depths of what generational trauma can do) and From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. I wish I could type more about this right now, but finding this thread alone is overwhelming and exciting at the same time. So maybe I'll pop back on here to see if there's any update. Just know that you're not alone.

Hi,
I have read your response. I have read both books and continue reading more. I loved both books. I know the responses I have gotten really put me into deep thought about my abuse. There's a part of me that knows what happened was wrong but I think there has been alot of contributing factors for their lackluster parenting skills. So I don't think it's that cut and dry. I know there was neglect, physical abuse, ... that I am still working through. My brother says it's because that's how it was. So I think he battles his own demons with our childhood. My dad was not an easy person and my mother felt overwhelmed by us 4 kids. So it's a combination of there own struggles, lack of knowledge because of their Deafness, and their own struggles of being Deaf. People are not kind to people with disabilities. I know cuz I was witness to others being unkind. Does it make it ok to take their frustrations out on me? NO! I suffer from the pain and my life has been sh** because of it! I could go on but it will not change anything. The best I can do is accept the reality of it and work to recover on my journey! It sucks but there it is!