Update
I had decided to go with a very good friend and my fiance.
(Yes I've been through my ups and downs and he hasn't been perfect. I've decided to stay with him. Hope this does not offend anyone who knows about my situation. We are both on meds and have decided we will work together on both our PTSD, live seperately at the time being. And to work on ourselves or what aggravates one another. He admitted that he has been rather worse to me. One day at a time.)
Ok, back to the main point.
-Spent the night at the lady friend's house, fiance, kids, myself.
-Expressed to my older kid without forcing it, that so this situation is not comfortable, for him to act himself and if he don't want to talk, he doesn't have to.
-Next morning at 8:30am drove to location of office (her house) of the psychologist.
-What the psychologist told me previously : spend time with the boys for half an hour to make them familiar and comfortable as possible with her and give reassurance that I give my permission. 9am-9:30am.
-9:30am I will leave and come back at 11am.
-Truth of the matter is that as my friends and I were there with my kids, we got five minutes. The psychologist told us that we had to go as my abuser (kids father) was already on his way.
Funny things . .
-Abuser was seen coming up in a taxi as we parked the car in the drive way.
-Unknowingly he comes up to the door, sees us still there and bolts for it.
-Fiance tells psychologist that he thinks that he was already here.
-After going out the door, Fiance starts acting like my abuser by limping on his right leg saying he was my abuser's name (N). We laughed our asses off. Abuser no where in line of sight.
-We start driving and come across abuser as he is like 3-4 houses away with back turned and head down.
-My Fiance was driving and my lady friend suggested to just do a quick beep at him before we pass. So of course he does!
-We try to get a look at his face, but his face is completely covered.
Hahahahaha!!!!!!
-Than we come back 5 min early, were told by the psychologist to wait in the car. Guess loser was still there.
-So, than my lady friend waits in the car while my fiance and I go down the drive for a smoke. I cozy up to him as in Denver it is cold at the time! Mind you that the curtains are see through from the house of the area of visiting haha!!
-After five minutes the psychologist gestures to come in.
-She lies and says that my abuser left. Like we seen him come out, really!!! Not!!
-We go in and find the kids anxious and running up to my fiance and me.
-My kids were hugging fiance and saying I missed you, I love you!! (Ouch!! Hope that hurt loser in the next room in hiding haha!!))
More Humor
-My kid provided us with prove that his baby father cowardly hid in the next room.
-Lil 4yr old repeatedly hit his father on the legs/arms for half an hour. And believe me this boy is gaining strength!!
(My older kid was rather furious from seeing his baby father.)
-No hugs from the kids, boo hoo!!
-My son told his father right away - F*ck you, go to h*ll, I hate you!!!!!
-He would not talk period to his father.
-The loser father took pictures of my kids, of lil one as he was offered toys and smiling, (bribery to a lil one who doesn't know any better) and of my older one being upset, crying while sitting on the couch.
-Nickname both my kids give their father - Baby Father!! Cry Baby!!
-Older one stated to us that he wished he could kill his father. I told him that he had every right to express his emotions.
My Feelings
-Anxious to the point of panicking previously to undergoing the day of the visitation/evaluation.
-Just before the event. I just was trying to keep it together and reassuring each child that they wouldn't be harmed with the evaluator in the room, though we all knew she is stupid.
-During the time endured till pick up, I felt mixed emotions. I had trust in my older one and he would take care of lil brother.
-After, just releasing stress/anxiety through humor, laughing with my friend, fiance and kids. Learning my abuser's new nickname baby dad/father and loser.
At Present Moment
-Very proud of myself for enduring this painful experience and relieved.
-Glad my older one is ok right now.
-Considering strongly to get in touch with my son's previous therapist as my lawyer suggested.
-I'm so thankful for the support of my friend and fiance!! It really helped!!
-But am also very thankful for the support from the people in this forum as well!! Linking Arms!!
