Feeling Like A Failure

[MouseWedger]

Im not entirely sure where to post all of this, but this feels like the right place. Forgive me if its not - my mind has done nothing but wander off on tangents for days now and I'm easily confused.

I don't want to go back to work, I haven't been there since May because of a surgery and Im running out of sick time. I just don't want to go back. Especially now that we're moving tomorrow, we'll be two hours from where I work. I have to keep my job there because of the pay, and I'll have to work forty hours in three days every week to keep the commuting to a minimum. I don't want to. I just don't. I keep looking for jobs and either I get caught up with mortgage and bank things and then miss my interviews, or I'll make it and everything seems to go swimmingly, but I never get the job and I don't know why.

I tried to start my own business, but that feels like a waste of time and money we don't have. Now I just feel like I've pissed away hundreds of valuable dollars on a business no one wants to use. My husband keeps telling me "You've got to spend money to make money. It's ok. I'll pick up another job for us until this gets off the ground."

But it's not ok. Its so far from ok its hysterical. I feel like I've completely failed at everything and I don't know how to make it right. I don't want to trash my business, its what I've really wanted to do with my life (Wedding and event planning) since I really allowed myself to sit and think about it, and I keep holding onto this ridiculous hope that it'll turn around and make some money for us instead of bleeding us dry.

Anyone else ever go through this, or is this just another thing I will keep feeling alone in?

 

[Belle]

Hi MouseWedger, I don't want to go back to work either, I have changed workplace and I am not on holiday. I am dreading it so much even thought I requested a transfer! I just feel like a failure, so I can relate to your statement

But it's not ok. Its so far from ok its hysterical. I feel like I've completely failed at everything and I don't know how to make it right. I don't want to trash my business, its what I've really wanted to do with my life (Wedding and event planning) since I really allowed myself to sit and think about it, and I keep holding onto this ridiculous hope that it'll turn around and make some money for us instead of bleeding us dry.

Anyone else ever go through this, or is this just another thing I will keep feeling alone in?

I just wanted you to know you are not alone in feeling that way ((((hugs))))

 

[MouseWedger]

Thanks Belle. Its hard going to a place every day that you don't want to go to. I am dreading this weekend like no other, and things are only being made worse by the fact that I am moving tomorrow without my husband. He will be staying here with his parents so that he can work this week at his job here before leaving them permanently. I feel like if I had him to remind me of all the reasons I used to enjoy my job during this week while we adjust to the move that it might be easier. But by the time he's ready to come to our new home I'll be on the road heading back towards his parents so that I can go to work. It just really sucks. I wish I had done things differently so that my business wasn't a failure.