Feeling Like You Hate Your Signifiant Other...

[Alkaline Dragon]

Sometimes after sex I feel like I hate my g/f. We have a really good relationship in my opinion and It's been going on for 8 months or so. Does anyone else experience this? I never react to it or let on, but sometimes I just feel so angry at her. It's so bizarre, and I know it's unfounded.

Is this an emotional flashback?

 

[cherryblossom]

Very difficult to answer without some more background information, if you are ready to share? Do you have PTSD? if so, was the cause related to sex? Do you have flashbacks?

 

[Alkaline Dragon]

I was diagnosed with PTSD. I had an emotionally negligent/abusive mother, who didn't even know she was doing damage to me. No father. Watched her abuse/attack boyfriends and stuff that were innocent/didn't deserve it. Nothing to any of my past trauma was sex related I don't think. I'm a male. I did have a really messed up relationship when I was in high school with a girl who always threatened to kill herself etc. I felt trapped like I had to be with her. And I was isolated. Maybe that's why? And I think I have flashbacks, but I almost don't know how to...tell? When I have painful memories i just go " uhg this sucks, that was awful ". The really intense things i feel is just confusion sort of, or...maybe it's emotional flashbacks?

I was in talk therapy and diagnoised with it, but im not in therapy so im unsure of a lot

 

[Philippa]

Hi Alkaline Dragon,

I'm not sure if I'm right here, but it could be food for thought? It's possible that you are projecting your feelings towards your mother onto your girlfriend, but it feels like it is towards you gf that you feel this anger. We tend to project our parental issues onto our loved ones at a certain age...usually late twenties to mid thirties. Women do it with their unresolved father issues and men do it with their mother issues.

It might be that expressing your anger towards your mother TO your mother (putting the blame where it belongs) might help you resolve this, or at least get it off your chest, so you are no longer carrying it around?

What do you think? I know it's a scary thing to think about doing, and maybe you aren't ready to have it out wiht her yet? It might help to speak to a therapist about this if you have one?

 

[Sterre]

Watched her abuse/attack boyfriends and stuff that were innocent/didn't deserve it.

Just a thought,but could it be that your just automaticly imitating/repeting your mothers behaviour? Apperently she was angry with/at her boyfriends otherwise she would not abuse or attack them. I'm no therapist whatsoever, just thinking with you.

Very good of you that you know that this feeling is unfounded!

 

[Alkaline Dragon]

I appreciate the feedback Sterre and Philippa :D

Is emulating a parental's destrucitve behavior often found in cases of PTSD?

Also, about projecting my unresolved emotions... does the brain warp/distort present day life to sort of... to give purpose to these emotions? There are a lot of times I get caught up in things that bother me that I realize are unfounded and absurd to think about. Jealousy is a huge one. Even though logically I can assess the situation and understand that there is no real basis to be feeling a certain way.

I kind of don't know how to describe it. I guess the image I have is kind of like if PTSD emotions were black ink or something. And sometimes the black ink seeps out of your face into present day life. Like, you don't know what caused the ink originally or if it even has anything to do with your past, and you just associate it with present day endeavors because you're feeling it.

Does this sound accurate?

I was in talk therapy for 6 months or so, and diagnosed with PTSD. I'm currently not in talk therapy but I'm prescribed Lamictal 200mg by a psychiatrist. I've never seen a trauma specialist.

Also, I've had some pretty vicious arguments with my mother before. I moved out of the house PERMANENTLY about a year ago. Would it be...healthy to call her out on some of this stuff and get into a yelling match? Or do you think it would harm things?