Feeling Nervous About Doing Emdr

[Deleted member 12723]

I got my referral for it. I am waiting to hear from them. I did alittle research on it. I hope I am a good candidate for it. i hope it will work.

. I am feeling very scared. I so want it to work. I have heard so many say that they had good results from it.

I have lost faith in the therapy process. I started in 1985, yes I know the dark ages of therapy. I have had some bad therapists. And I am feeling very afraid and anxious.

I do not want it to be a long and drawn out process. I am trying to prepare myself for it. But I am so very afraid.

The last time I had anxiety very bad, I went to a outpatient group program and it was so useless. It did'nt help me at all with the anxiety. I tried it and I quit. I was so disappointed.

I am not the naive, gullible, vulnerable desperately needy person I was in 1985. I was so easily fooled , I was so hopeful for some relief from the symptoms of ptsd. I had 9 years of therapy, many groups. Aca for a year, aa, and al-anon. Incest groups and Adults who had been molested as children.

I really do not know what I am getting myself into. I am going with hope. I have repressed memories. Back at the beginning I so wanted those memories to get it over with. now that I am a caregiver 24/7 for my husband with parkinson and lewy body dementia, I can't afford to have the memories and all of the baggage to come up. I will have to ask them.

I have had a lifetime of trauma, i am 58 yrs. old now. I am ok except for a low grade anxiety everyday. I have a driving phobia I have had for the past year.

I will have to ask alot of questions. I will have to go by my gut instinct. I do not want to be an experiment of therapist. I had some who were like looki loos. I admit I have had some bad experiences.

If anyone has had this EMDR please share your experiences with me, if you have tips or suggestions I would be really grateful.

I do not know if I would be a good candidate. I will find out. It would be nice if it worked. I am afraid to hope. I have been so disappointed in so much I have come across.

I would really appreciate some realistic feedback good or bad. Thank you.

 

[cherryblossom]

Gizmo, there are quite a few threads about EMDR in the [DLMURL="https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/forums/therapy.4/"]Therapy[/DLMURL] forum, which you might find helpful. Perhaps do a search of that forum to see what information people have already shared about EMDR.

 

[Zad]

I got my referral for it. I am waiting to hear from them. I did alittle research on it. I hope I am a good candidate for it. i hope it will work.

. I am feeling very scared. if you have tips or suggestions I would be really grateful.

I would really appreciate some realistic feedback good or bad. Thank you.

While you're waiting, read the book Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy

It's available on Amazon. The book will give you a good understanding of the therapy and techniques to use immediately that can help with your fear. Fear is natural when facing the unknown. The book will give you the information you need and ways to quiet your body and mind while you wait.

 

[Hashi]

I hope this is helpful for you.

I suggest you approach it as a partnership between you and the therapist. I would see it as something you are working on together, rather than something the therapist does, or a process that you might be a candidate for or not. This is your choice and your process.

In particular, I'd take equal responsibility for safety as you go through the process. Creating safety right at the beginning is the most important thing in being able to work successfully. It means feeling strong, safe and secure enough to face things and process them, without being overwhelmed by emotions, anxiety, flashbacks etc.

Your therapist should discuss this with you and you should establish a safe place and be comfortable with that before doing any EMDR. Make sure you are - don't tell the therapist it's OK if you have any doubts or concerns. No-one will benefit if this isn't clear and in place before you begin. Your therapist should also allow time at the end of the session to ground yourself and discuss things before you leave, if you need to - ask about this.

I'd also work on safety in advance, while you're waiting. Search on this site, google generally or find books about: grounding, safe places, psychic protection. Your therapist should bring safety and grounding into the session, but you also need to be doing your own work on this and practising it for yourself.

Psychic protection is a very strong way of being safe all the time, while still allowing things that are healing for you. Unfortunately, a lot of what's out there does seem very "out there" (ie new age and sometimes nonsense) and can be offputting. For example, a lot of people talk about angels, and personally I don't relate to that at all. But if you read about the principles, you can come up with your own ideas and images for it.

I hope you can approach this feeling prepared and in charge of your own healing process, especially because you've had bad experiences in the past. I hope it helps you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hashi-
Thank you for taking the time to respond. You gave me alot to go on.
It is important to be in charge of my own process. I will make a list and take it in with me.
Then I could set the boundries in place before we get started.

Very grateful.

 

[Chondra]

Hashi did a wonderful job Gizmo.

All I can add other than assuring you it does work, is that therapists are different and it can take some time to establish trust/safety. But, if the chemistry is not good, find another therapist!

I hope your first T is a winner. You deserve it. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Chondra, Thanks for the kind words and the tips. I will keep on looking for a good therapist if the one they give me is not a good match. grateful.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Well I have an appointment next thursday at 12:30PM.
I will have my first session. I am so afraid. I will have to make sure this is a therapist I can work with. I will go slow. I will ask my questions and do this.

It is the fear of the unknown. I did not get around to getting that book, so I will have to wing it.

I sure hope it all works out and this is something that works and it won't hurt me. I do not want to be re-traumatized by it. I have had enough of these kinds of experiences.
What kinds of things did help anyone reading this and can respond.?

I want to feel and be safe. I want to pay attention and take good care of myself. I'm guessing the first session is taking down the traumas that happened. Any advice or tips on how to be safe and have good boundries would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Chondra]

Great work setting up the appointment Gizmo. Our PTSD increases our anxiety, so getting this first step done is awesome.

I can share some of my experience with you. I hope it helps.

My first session was unusual in that my PTSD therapist was the supervisor of the therapist I was seeing at that time, so she already knew my case. Also, after a brief introduction, I started out the session saying something like: "This had better be the real deal. If it is just another coping strategy and does not directly affect my PTSD symptoms I want nothing to do with it, and we can stop right now". Funny thing was, I think she liked that.

For me, an EMDR session goes a bit like this: Together with the therapist, we dredge up a core aspect of my past trauma(s). With it in mind, and before I get re-traumatized, the therapist triggers right to left brain activity with lights, sounds, and, or vibrations in my hands. Doing this temporarily suspends the trauma process and allows us the space/time to replace the automatic PTSD response with a more accurate and realistic one. We continue to work like this for a bit, rooting out different facets of my PTSD trigger(s). Then we close the session with a guided visualization piece that "packs up" and stores away my trauma and grounds me safely back into the present. After a session I try to focus on self care for the remainder of the day. EMDR is difficult and exhausting work.

My greatest challenge is being brutally honest and fully trusting my therapist.

Hang in their Gizmo. EMDR can work, and life can get better.

 

[Hashi]

Good luck, Gizmo.

Remember, it's only the first session and you can go at the pace you want. You might want to spend the first session talking about your concerns, asking about what will happen and talking with the therapist about safety. When you first try EMDR, you can ask to try just a little bit first.

I would go prepared with some phrases to use, so you can take the time you need and don't feel under pressure. I don't know what it would be in your case, but it might be things like "Can we talk about that a bit more first?", "Can you tell me what to expect?", "I'm still feeling nervous. Can you suggest ways to reduce that before we begin?".

Above all, remember that this is for YOU. Believe in yourself. You should feel free to ask as many questions as you want, and ask again if things still aren't clear. I really recommend talking to your therapist about the things you've put in this thread, it will help build up trust and a good partnership. You might need to push yourself, and you sound very motivated to do that in a way that will move you forward. But if you feel really uncomfortable about anything, stop and talk to the therapist about it.

Sending you lots of good wishes.

Hashi

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Good luck Gizmo! I am so proud of you taking this step and I hope you will find much relief like I did. It is not always comfortable, but you do need to trust.

When I had EMDR, it was well worth it and the cognitive breakthroughs after, what an eye opener. Other work in T needed to be done post and alongside EMDR, but it was a step in the right direction for me personally.

It is not easy having to remember upsetting things, but I considered it another tool to try to get some relief. We remember these upsetting things any ways, so it isn't that scary when you think of it that way.

I kind think of it like a brain massage - a little uncomfortable and painful in spots, but the relief after was gradual and well worth it.

Be kind to yourself, and speak up if you feel any residual anxiety after each session. Take comfort in knowing your T will be there with you through it all. Expect to feel a little groggy after. Above all, you must trust the T and if the T is new to you, you will spend time developing this trust and that is important. Be open minded and be honest with the T and with yourself.

Let us know how you get on. I am so proud of you for taking this step on your journey to healing. Speaking for myself, it was well worth it in the end. I discovered so much through the experience that I could not see before. And, looking back, it was a key event in my journey to healing.

Love, PS xxoo

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks guys for all the thoughtful things you shared with me. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me with such good things. I recieved alot of encouragement and hope. Chondra I did'nt know that our ptsd increased our anxiety. I hope to be brutally honest if this is what it takes. I will have to find out if I can work with this therapist and trust her. It surely will be a new experience for me. I do not want any repressed memories to surface, I have made my peace with the repressed memories. I am feeling alittle anxious about that and plan on asking questions about it. Thanks for everything Chondra.

Hashi thanks for the well wishes, I will take them with me. I will plan on going as slow as I need to. I will use the phrases you shared with me, and I will address my nervousness. I am very motivated and I will push myself once I feel I can work with the therapist. They only have 2 therapists that work on this stuff. I am hoping I can work with the first therapist. I am eager to get going with these things.

PTSDsufferer, I am much looking for some relief. I sure hope it works for me.Thanks for all the words of advice. I feel alittle more prepared to go into this with my eyes and heart open. thanks for being proud of me. I appreciate this. I will come back and report my progess. It will be another journey into my own healing process. I have been having nightmares again and early morning anxiety. I hope to get relief from these things. I am willing to go the distance if I can develop trust for the therapist. /thanks again. Much appreciation.