Feeling numb and blue

[Shadoe]

I'm so sick of feeling numb and not safe in my body. I smoke constantly and have bad habits I can't seem to shift because I don't feel in sync with myself. It's constant anaesthesia, I'm doing therapy and a lot more than I did when I was really unwell. I honestly have no clue what to do with rough patches like this but just accept them and let them ride out. Is it normal to feel like this for months at a time. At work it's painfully obvious my short term memory sucks and I constantly burn myself because I'm just walking with a foggy head, I struggle to socialise and connect with people. I just feel like crying most days for no reason at all. I just feel like I could be doing better but this is holding me back. I'm used my adrenaline getting me through the day but I'm just a sluggish mess. I'm doing better than I was though just need to do a few more things but I'm just really tired all the time and the stress of everyday life does not mix well when you don't even feel alive.

 

[DharmaGirl]

It is common in PTSD to feel this way. I'm sorry. You are in therapy, and working, that's awesome, try to be kind to yourself and do self care until this eases some. I often feel this way, and I've found that just starting to do something helps for me. I can't work though, so I don't have to get through a work day. Good luck and welcome to the site.

 

[BrownLea12]

That numb thing is hard. I’ve been struggling with it as well. It’s hard to not put yourself mentally or physically in harm’s way when all you want is to feel something. And it’s so hard when you’ve felt alive before, even if only a short while. When you go back to numb, you just want to get out of it!!

Connection I think is the answer, but you’re right- it can be a real challenge. I am weekly with my therapist right now, and g*d it feels so long some weeks until I am back in my “safe zone” there.

Glad you are at least able to share here. :)