Sufferer Feeling Scared

[Wolvescry]

Hi everyone, Im sadgirl. I chose that title because it seems to suit. I am in my early 20s and I having so much trouble right now. I heard about forums helping others but have avoided them because its hard to deal with. At this point I am afraid of everything. People scare, hurt me, idk, I love people it just hurts. Therapy has helped some but how do I stop the memories, the fear, and confusion. I am just so tired. I blame myself for so much. I fought back, I fought back, I stayed in those situations, I should have known I was upsetting people. I cant tell are if these are just the symptoms. I except fault on my part, but how much fault is mine. When I am not holding on to my sanity as well I feel like its all my fault but how can everything be my fault. I keep playing the memories over and over again, and sometimes new details arise that i did not remember before. I am scared, constantly, and just want to hide. I am just sad, tired and scared. I work hard for what I have its just so hard to hold on sometimes. I know this is not the best intro, I dont know much about forums. Hope this is not an overload.

 

[franciemarnie]

Hi Sadgirls,

My 20's were the worst. Everything really came up for me then and it was overwhelming to say the least. It sounds like you are overwhelmed right now and need to feel safe and stop the obsessive rumination and intrusive thoughts.

Does your therapist give you ideas on how to make yourself feel safe, feel grounded?

There are a lot of great articles in the Help Section and many threads about staying safe and grounded and in the moment. Everyone has strategies that work for them and you will find them.

Also check out books on PTSD like Waking the Tiger by Levine and The Body Remembers by Rothschild. It helps to know why you feel so panicked sometimes so you don't feel crazy or at least understand why you feel crazy bad.

Your T should be able to help you with the problems that are destabilizing you. Maybe get a trauma therapist if s/he isn't one.

As for this moment, what can you do to bring yourself a feeling of safety? Music? Meditation? Walk? Tea and a movie and a blanket?

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Wolvescry]

Thank you for your time and advice Franciemarnie. May T has never gone over feeling safe, she has gone over other things, I will make sure to bring it up next app.

 

[Marf]

Welcome to the forum! I know how overwhelmed, scared, and wanting to hide feels. It does get better. Try to trust yourself and deal with the memories as they come.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Sadgirls,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

The feelings of fear, self-blame, poor self-worth and the rumination are all pretty common with PTSD. It can be overwhelming, but hang on to the hope that with therapy and work, it does get better.....much better. Take your time and learn all that you can about this disorder and the variety of coping skill/methods that are available. This can really help you in the management of symptoms.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial to your healing.

Take care.

Debbie