Feels Like I'm Starting From Square One

[devildoc130]

I was diagnosed with PTSD about 10 months ago. I worked as a firefighter/EMT for 5 years. Now I'm a USN Corpaman with the Marine Corps..for the most part things have been okay. However yesterday I was sharing my experiences with a Senior Chief I work with. I kept telling myself I should just leave. But in a sick way I like sharing and talking about it. I was laughing and making jokes about my own experiences. It's one of my many coping mechanisms.

Well long story short, I made myself finally walk away. My hands wouldn't stop shaking and I was having an awful anxiety/panic attack. Every time I would try to think of something different all I thought about were my experiences. I could even smell certain things from my experience. I began breaking down and crying. I've been seeing my Psychologist/psychiatrist for sometime now and everything seemed to be okay. Well yesterday it felt like I was starting off from square one. Everything is back in full force. I really hope someone can help me with tips or medications to calm me down when I have these panic/anxiety attacks. And of course the flashbacks. Thank you. I am taking medication but would like to try something else then pharmacology.

Thank you again. Hope everyone enjoys the upcoming holiday. Semper Fortis.

Stephen

Meditations**

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi devildoc!

I am not a doctor but I have heard other people with similar symptoms are helped with EMDR or Exposure therapy. There is loads of information on this site. Hope you find what you need! Happy Holidays to you!

TB

 

[DharmaGirl]

Mindfulness, looking around and finding colors helps you to be present. I take clonidine, prazosin and ativan for nightmares and flashbacks, it helps with the huge startle response too. I still startle, but not as often. I also meditate loving kindness when I am upset. May I be filled with loving kindness, may I be well, May I be peaceful and at ease, may I be happy. It really works for me.

I also wear different scents that remind me of good things. Like pachouli oil reminds me of a boy I knew 40 years ago who was sweet and kind. I try to keep a list of things that will bring me back to the present, and that helps with the symptoms.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think emdr would be good for you. it would take the sting out of the memories and you would not be haunted or tormented by them. I am wishing you the best. Safety is a number one need and you have to make yourself feel safe. Once you talk about something you make it real and then you suffer side effects.

Be careful whom you share stuff with. I hope it gets better for you. Take extra special care of you. Take care and be well. Keep on talking about it here, this is a safe place to vent, rant, and to express all that is in your heart. It will get you validation and support. You are normal for what you have been through and you most definately are not alone.

 

[devildoc130]

Thank you to all who answered my post. :) I'm going to research EMDR, exposure therapy. From what I read so far it sounds like it may help. I don't mind trying something new.

It seems like a few months I'm fine, then all of a sudden I'm back in fight or flight response with extreme anxiety. It's like I want to stop what I'm doing and help these people in my experience. The ones I couldn't save. I think I'll go back to meditation. It seemed to calm me down. I think the stress of the service isn't helping. Haha apologize for the long post. I'm also taking Zoloft, Prazosin and klonopin. I'm really glad I found this forum. Where I can open up and talk with people who have similar experiences as me. Thank you.