Sufferer Finally Plucked Up The Courage To Say Hello...!

[barefoot]

@intothelight - oh, I expected therapy to be hard...I knew I wouldn't exactly be a natural at it! Hate talking about my feelings, tend to avoid uncomfortable conversations, use humour to deflect etc. But I genuinely hadn't considered that the event from when I was a teenager that I just thought I may as well mention while I was there was going to turn out to be the really significant thing that had actually been the root of the anxiety/depression I'd had on and off for years. So...so much for never having to mention it again! ;-) Therapy is helping but the trauma work is s-l-o-w...dissociation tends to get in the way! :-)

 

[barefoot]

@Muse - yes can openers usually do the trick ;-) Though I guess when you're opening Pandora's box, the contents are bound to spill out all over the place and things are bound to get a little crazy for a while? I don't think I really thought that through before...! :-)

 

[falling_wave]

@barefoot welcome! Glad to have you here!

 

[ihateusernames]

Welcome!! I know it's been said already, but these things are soooo me, too:

I do, however, find therapy very difficult. I tend to intellectualise things and find it difficult to connect to my feelings

nd I don't actually think what happened is that bad. My therapist says 'minimising my trauma' is a form of denial for self-protection and that there isn't a scale for trauma

I also dissociate a lot - I didn't ever know I did that until I started therapy - and that's incredibly frustrating because it feels like I'm sabotaging my own progress when I do it.

I came here after my therapist informed me that I dissociate. I had no real idea what it was. I thought it was strictly about multiple personalities and never in a million years thought it was what I do. When she pointed it out to me a lightbulb clicked and I could see it happening so much throughout my lifetime and for the first time I felt like maybe the things that had happened were a big deal. Anyway, that ultimately led me here. It's been a huge help to find so many similarly situated people, although I would prefer for everyone else's sake that I be the only one :(

 

[Lionheart]

@barefoot Welcome to the forum!!!

I know that you are in a place that I was once in years ago. I went to therapy worked really hard...(even took a notebook with me every time so I could take notes) and things eventually began to turn around for me. (at least this worked for me).

I was hypervigilent, had panic attacks, night terrors, .....the whole shebang, but I want you to know that, speaking strictly from my own personal experience, things can get much better.

It took some time, (I have been in on-going therapy for 17 years and am now doing quite well).

I wanted to give you a little hope..... we may all have different traumas and stories, but the PTSD is very similar, if not the same for all of us.....

(for instance, I am a survivor of sexual child abuse, while your trauma may have a different cause) ....we also may have different symptomology at different levels and at different times, but we are all on a path of healing.

Anyway, the people here are freaking fantastic; they are understanding, insightful, helpful, caring and supportive. At least they have been for me and I believe you will have the same experience....

this is my hope for you...
Peace, Comfort, and Healing.

Lion

 

[barefoot]

@ihateusernames - yes, although the dissociation thing came as a bit of a shock, once I wrapped my head around it and found out more about it! it certainly helped me to connect some dots. And, as you say, the fact that I do it means that there is a reason for that. So maybe remembering that fact will help me begin to accept the reality and impact of what happened in the past. Thank you :-)

 

[barefoot]

Thank you @Lionheart777 for your lovely message and encouragement :-)

 

[Lionheart]

Thank you @Lionheart777 for your lovely message and encouragement :)

You are most welcome!!! :happy: