Finding C-ptsd

[Kintsugi]

Hello, I guess I'm supposed to introduce myself to the forum?

I started searching for forums after a conversation with my fiance wherein he was speaking of people with BPD he has met. I told him that I'd been accused several times by close friends of being borderline but that my therapists have consistently dismissed these accusations and maintained confidence in my diagnosis of PTSD. My boyfriend admitted that he thought I was borderline for a while when he first met me but then decided that those behaviors were probably a product of my past trauma.

This recent conversation aroused old fears surrounding my diagnosis. Am I borderline? What is wrong with me, why do I do these things to people? Is it about trauma, or is something in me just wonky? Do I really manipulate people? Do I abuse them? Are those who surround me victim to my storms the way that I have been a victim to the whims of others?

I researched complex PTSD, an "imagined" disorder in which sufferers often seem to be a mix of PTSD and borderline. This diagnosis gives me hope that there may be others like me, confused about the scope of impact that their consistent, long-term, or recurring abuse or trauma has had on them.

Thanks for reading.

 

[becvan]

Welcome to the forum. C-PTSD is not imagined, it is simply not being added into the new DSM. It's now being referred to as complex trauma (which is what it is.) We have an entire section dedicated to complex trauma. I was once confused about the impact on me but I am not any longer. I have complex trauma and you are not alone.

bec

 

[anthony]

I wouldn't honestly worry about manipulating too much... because that can just be part of PTSD. Being manipulative is a behaviour associated with trauma, but a behaviour is not a disorder. If your specialists are saying just stick with PTSD, honestly listen to them, because people get confused with self diagnostic aspects... without knowing the full scope behind things. We view a diagnosis on the Internet, a list as such, then we start ticking and flicking as we feel appropriate, then tell ourselves we have x, y & z. The only problem with that, is x, y & z actually can't be had unless you also have b,c,d,m & w. There are always hidden aspects to a diagnosis, they are not within the symptom checklist.

 

[Kintsugi]

I appreciate your attention to expert information vs. Internet information, anthony. I agree that I need to ask a specialist.

The T who originally diagnosed me with PTSD didn't think that diagnoses were important, only individuals, their circumstances, and the results therein. She would not have bothered adding nuance to my diagnosis, and I don't much mind that, though when she finally explained PTSD to me I was able to see myself more clearly. I thought that everybody felt mortally afraid at all times, that everybody considered every possible weapon in a given room when entering, and, worse, that I was hideously and intrinsically flawed sexually, physically, and spiritually for no other reason than I was born broken. My diagnosis allowed me to see my feelings and behaviors as a typical product of my experience that I can work to change by acknowledging those aspects of myself and working consciously against them through my awareness.

I am looking into finding a specialist, and I will certainly ask about this diagnosis. For now, I've read some diagnostic descriptions, studies, and reputable articles on C-PTSD and find that the content speaks to many of the differences between what I understand to be PTSD and the terms that I have repeatedly heard used to describe me, and these words came from my original and long-term T. According to the statistics and characteristics accompanying C-PTSD, it seems I have a good chance of falling into this category, though I certainly couldn't say for myself that I do. In any case, I'm not sure that I can fully embrace the concept of C-PTSD until it is actually in the DSM, though I do hope for those who identify with this diagnosis that it is included, as validation and understanding of our experiences can often help in our healing process.

 

[anthony]

I honestly wouldn't worry about it to be perfectly honest, because you already found your answer in your initial post, being CPTSD is a non-existent diagnosis. You can't be diagnosed with it, because it doesn't exist. It was an internal classification only within the mental health field, which has been rejected conclusively now by the DSM V, now being the third release it has attempted to gain application within.

Don't confuse your trauma with a diagnosis that does not exist. If you have complex trauma, then you have complex trauma. Complex trauma is the easy part... you can answer whether you have that or not. Easy guide to whether you have complex trauma or not: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/read-before-posting-within-this-forum.14005/[/DLMURL]

If you have complex trauma, then you still only have PTSD. That's it... nobody on this website has CPTSD, as there is no such thing. No psychiatrist could ever write CPTSD onto a diagnosis, because it has no official meaning or capacity. If you fit complex trauma, then a dissociative disorder is more likely than a personality disorder. A proportion of complex trauma sufferers have an Axis II disorder, however; the majority have a Axis I dissociative disorder. Some have both...