It hadn't really sunk in. I used to go catatonic. I haven't done that for SIX months now. Not once! I sit anywhere I want in restaurants, I don't do the night terror thing, I am not dissociating like I was. I hadn't really taken it in though. People would keep checking with me 'Is that triggering you?' My response "I don't trigger anymore". It hadn't really sunk in though. Until tonight. Firecracker day. May 24 weekend I have hated for 8 years now.
I literally would fall to the ground if I heard a firecracker. No drama talk. No word of a lie. Even one. Off in the distance. Christ, even in another country it felt like. But tonight....tonight I feel this.....and I am so incredibly grateful. I kept going outside to see if it was real. IT IS!
Firecrackers aren't taking me down anymore. And I don't know why it hasn't sunk in until now but godddammmmittt! This feels so GOOD! I feel free! All that work. It is paying off. I am not totally in the clear yet, I still have housing trigger/issues but right now I don't give a flying crap! Finally. Tears of joy. Finally. Thank you all for all of your help. Please. Don't.ever.give.up.
I literally would fall to the ground if I heard a firecracker. No drama talk. No word of a lie. Even one. Off in the distance. Christ, even in another country it felt like. But tonight....tonight I feel this.....and I am so incredibly grateful. I kept going outside to see if it was real. IT IS!
Firecrackers aren't taking me down anymore. And I don't know why it hasn't sunk in until now but godddammmmittt! This feels so GOOD! I feel free! All that work. It is paying off. I am not totally in the clear yet, I still have housing trigger/issues but right now I don't give a flying crap! Finally. Tears of joy. Finally. Thank you all for all of your help. Please. Don't.ever.give.up.
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