First Friend Lost After Telling Them About Ptsd

[Underdog]

Knew it would happen sooner or later, and I can totally respect and understand the decision to let each other live our separate lives. It somewhat bothers me because I thought we were closer friends, but can understand the strain my symptoms put on the relationship. I was seeking support and had the door closed, so yeah that hurt a bit. Also, it was from a veteran so that was a bit more surprising.

All in all, I am just glad to know who are the fair weather friends and who will actually be there to support me through this.

 

[littlelostchild]

I'm sorry to hear that, @Underdog , perhaps it won't be a forever thing. I had a good friend when all my shit hit the fan. She was going through her own stuff at the time and all we seemed to do was trigger each other, so I suggested we not see each other. I am now beginning to consider contacting her to see how she is doing - it's been more than a year. I say this because things change and so do people. Maybe the door is closed for now, but it could be opened again another time. I don't know, but it is something I am thinking of trying with my friend.

It totally sucks at the time, though, I know that much, and I honestly still miss my friend.

I understand how you feel.

 

[Barberian]

@Underdog - Beautiful avatar of the orchid. I love orchids . I agree with littlelostchild, give it some time, they may just need some time to process. Don't be surprised if they don't come back though. My personal experience and watching my wife with her friends (we both have issues, her medical, me mental) "friends" tend to fall by the wayside once your lifestyle changes. Most people want things to stay the same. Change upsets them. So if you or your ability(ies) change, they move on with their lives doing the same things without you.

 

[Underdog]

Thank you both. Overwhelmingly, the responses back have been incredible and better than I ever imagined. One person knew something was wrong when I started disappearing from all social events and stopped contact with everyone. His response has been far the best! "I wondered when I would hear back from you again and get this sort of information." True friends and those who can handle the symptoms rock! Those that aren't still rock in their own way, just not really going to be in my life at the moment.

 

[shandemonium]

i heard a corny saying once; there's three types of friends: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and then there are the lifetime friends. Cherish the lifetimers because they are the most rare.

I have also had countless "fairweather friends" too. It hurts because we are always looking for those deeper connections, especially people like us who may not have any support in our family.

But learning that this person is a reason or season friend is a blessing because it gives you sight for your real friends. Like the one you just mentioned!
You've got friends here too!!! and we accept you just the way you are :)

 

[fmg12]

I have recently learned the man I love has PTSD,instead of leaving I vowed to stay and be supportive of him.This is tricky because some PTSD sufferers sometimes shut you out,however they run the risk of losing friends of loved ones when they reveal they have PTSD.I am slowly but surely learning him and his moods and what they mean and when he needs to have his space and not take things personal.This is not easy,its a process. I will be there through the good ,the bad and the ugly..Much respect guys!!

 

[Underdog]

@fmg12 , it isn't easy to be sure and bless you for your willingness to be supportive.

The one thing I have told them before I state what happened is that I cannot and will not blame anyone for anything they thought, did or said throughout this. I was nasty and couldn't stop it, and still can be at times and I know it but can usually stop it now. I was destroying myself and tried to do the same to everything/everyone around me before I withdrew and disappeared. After everything I saw myself do, I can't blame anyone for not wanting to be there or stand by because I didn't want to stand by (or be inside of) myself either. Who am I to judge?

Then I tell them how my therapist had been trying to make me see the traumatic situation I was in, leave it, and then the diagnosis.

I've heard some hard things about how a few felt and what they went through the past few years, and all I can do is acknowledge their thoughts and feelings, respect them just as I wish to be respected and tell them I am terribly sorry for having put them in those positions. What they wish to do with our friendship given the knew information is up to them, but I felt they deserve to know the truth about what really happened.

@shandemonium , love that saying!!! Indeed, it is true. Not having a family that supports me in anyway means I am left to my own devices and finding friends who can be that support for me and I for them. I can seriously count them on a few fingers, lol... Two of them are combat vets I've known for nearly 20 some odd years who also have PTSD, although only one suffers from the actual combat experience (I've never heard the story of the one that isn't combat related, but she has mentioned that many, many times). Those two in particular have been a God send and were the two that started sharing their own experiences 2 years ago so I could start recognizing those experiences within myself.