First Time

[Leslie..]

This is my first time discussing my PTSD with anybody but my doctor or family. I guess I'm trying to branch out to find some outside support or to find comfort in knowing someone else out there is experiencing the same things I am. I don't want to go into the depths of how I acquired PTSD, but it's a daily struggle. I'm off of my anti depressants as of like 6 months ago. I'm currently on no medication.

Since the incident, I've been seeing things. At first it was out of the corner of my eye, flashes of something I couldn't make out. But now I actually see disturbing images. While driving, in my bedroom, at work. I also have a ringing in my ears in the evening mostly. These things I've seen have effected other people. My boyfriend at the time and I were driving on a dirt road and I swore I saw someone lying on the side of the road, badly hurt or dead. And I made him drive by again and again until I was convinced there was nothing there. Since that time, I've seen other things similar.

So I'm just wondering if anyone else with PTSD has experienced this? It would be comforting to hear others input or suggestions as to what I should do.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Welcome ((Leslie))!
Glad you reached out to the community. I am discussing my PTSD for the first time among this site as well.

When you were referring to the "doctor" I am unclear as to if you meant a therapist but this would be an opportune time to see one to assist in your flashes or as you say disturbing images. Many of us have gone...no stigma to a guidance into healing.

The "ringing in the ears" I have as well same as you, however it is from the impact of blunt force trauma during the incident. Because of one of the attacks, for a while I was hypervigilant thus noticing movement outside of my peripheral vision. In time with therapy, I calmed the sensation down.

However, the explicit visuals with disturbing images are often a sign to see someone to help you understand what you are trying to tell you. You have something important locked up inside and your inner child maybe very frightened. Be gentle, very gentle towards your self acceptance and do love and value yourself for these messages. Sometimes we all need assistance.

So...know it is not judgement on my part of anything accept how brave you are and that you are one special person in some terrible and serious pain. :hug:

 

[Leslie..]

When you were referring to the "doctor" I am unclear as to if you meant a therapist but this would be an opportune time to see one to assist in your flashes or as you say disturbing images.

Thanks for replying! When I said doctor I meant my GP. I'm a stubborn person. After 1 therapy session I never went again. It wasn't a comfortable feeling. I'm so lost in what kind of treatment I should be seeking, which I guess is what brought me here!

 

[Recovery4Me]

It was NOT the therapist/person who was to assist you at that time. Find one that feels safe, there are sooooo many different methods and as therapist are people too (right?) we search for our match. Be diligent, persevere to find the right one, as it is your season to heal you and be good to yourself. After all...how many smoke signals do you need to give yourself?
(I am native- we use that often in my family...lol)

Peace to you and like your avatar.

 

[Leslie..]

Thanks for your input!

 

[silkleaves]

I agree...I went to 3 different therapists in the past then gave up. None were for me, but I really wish I hadn't given up...at the time I felt that therapy just would never be for me, when the reality is, those particular therapists were wrong for me. I still feel like had I gotten the help I needed back then, I wouldn't be so deep in where I am now.

I get ringing in my ears sometimes...I was knocked around as a kid, but not sure if it is because of that. I've always had it (to my memory) to the point that its not even something I've ever brought up to my therapists or well...anyone. Never thought about it, it's just some annoying thing that happens. I guess I should look into that eh?

I don't see images like you do, I mean definitely, it sounds like your mind is trying to tell you something, there's something buried in there trying to get you to pay attention. I only see slight shadows and movement out the corner of my eye. I find that when I'm sick or exhausted, it happens more often. It happened *a lot* when I was a kid, I was convinced I could see ghosts! I don't think its ghosts anymore, but...yannow...just to be sure....I try not to pay it any mind because if it is, then I don't want them to know I can see them. I know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. And if it isn't, I don't want to admit that I can see anything that isn't actually there, because as far as I'm concerned, I don't have any room on my plate for any more crazy. (not calling you crazy! Just saying, that's how I feel at times. But no matter..I'm pretty sure its ghosts lol *sigh*)

 

[Leslie..]

That was great! Thank you!! I can find humor in just about any situation. Sometimes I take a step back and my craziness makes me laugh. I look back at how I used to be and I don't miss it. I like who I am. I own the crazy!

But on the other hand, I would like to figure out what's going on upstairs. It's a mystery to me!

The ringing in my ears is fairly recent. I can't explain it. Google tells me it's apart of the complexity of the PTSD. This website is brand new for me and, so far so great! I've never known anyone going through the same things as me. So it's refreshing to see I'm not alone.

 

[silkleaves]

I'm glad it got a chuckle out of you, my humour can be a bit off sometimes :laugh:

It definitely does help to not feel alone, to know that there are names and expressions and explanations behind what you are going through. When something is "real" then you feel a bit better about being able to do something about it, as opposed to just feeling like something is wrong with you.