Flashbacks During Sex

[Rumors]

Hey, I do it all the time so no worries. Given that you were semi-new to the forum, I wasn't sure if you had noticed where the date was in the post yet. I still think the post was spot on and brings new light to the topic as people read thru in current time.

Best!

 

[RdeC]

I do now, lol! Thanks for pointing it out - seriously!

 

[cherryblossom]

It doesn't matter if threads are old. It's better in some ways to have the information all in one place than to have multiple threads about the same subject.

 

[Tigers Eye]

I really like the air freshener idea. first time on here. I think if you combined things that you appreciate your partner doing to or with you along with a certain smell your memory will go to those moments as smell is the biggest memory stimulant there is. perhaps you are as a smelling something familiar in those moments when a flashback is happening. something to think about anyways. again I would try the positive smell sense. a smell you and your partner mutually pick (part of a positive memory) and then move forward with small things you feel completely consensual and comfortable with. after a while of building those positive memories maybe move forward with sex. tell your partner to include every sense, eye contact, or focus your eyes on a part of him you love... talk to him about if a fb happens touch your body this way in a comfortable and consensual way. have your partner have you smell whatever scent you chose (ex cinnamon) under your nose and remind you, he is your partner, your friend, and wants you BOTH to be happy and thrive, in and out of sex.

also side love note...

I created this project for valentines day with the idea in mind that to have healthy deep rooted relationships we must love ourselves first. so each day this month I am taking time to think and express what I love about myself equal to the day of the month... ie feb 1: 1 I love about myself statement feb 14:14 repeated things I love about myself. In this way I have a grounding place for who and what I want to express to the world, and the type of partner I want based on what personality traits have a companionable coupling rather than argumentative and constantly confrontational.

 

[Lucycat]

I really like the air freshener idea. first time on here. I think if you combined things that you appreciate your partner doing to or with you along with a certain smell your memory will go to those moments as smell is the biggest memory stimulant there is.

Thanks for this. I am stuck in a rut, and although I had read about smells some time ago, I had not really taken it on board or moved forward with it. I will now try it.

Also I love the idea of the valentine's project - well done for that and thanks for sharing.:)

 

[ML322]

Thank you Lauren, I'll try some distractions. :( I've told my counselor what is going on. We are working on it, but I have a lot of triggers. :(

You are doing a great job! It's hard work. Keep going and moving forward. One day you will see all the steps you've taken.

 

[ericaboo]

I just had this happen for the first time in my new relationship. It was shocking, and I had a strong, violent reaction. My boyfriend commented, "who did this to you?!" It threw cold water on the whole warm and fuzzy moment.

The ideas in this post make a lot of sense to me. I have been feeling extremely triggered for weeks - my stress cups are overflowing. I often dissociate during sex, so that's no surprise. I had never heard that this was an opening for flashbacks. It makes me want to work harder to be "present" during physical contact.

I never want this to happen again :stomp: