Flashbacks To An Incident

[pontifixmax]

I was witness to an incident at work in May where someone was pushed and the back of their head smashed on the sidewalk. Blood then poured out of his ear and he began to seize. Subsequently he died. It sounds bad but when I saw that happen I knew I'd never see the person alive again. Now I'm no novice to violence in the work I do. I've seen alot of it over a number of years but this one really affected me. Not at the time since I had a job to do but in the days and weeks afterward I couldn't get that image out of my head of blood pouring out of his ear. The images come unexpectedly and when they do they completely preoccupy me to the point where I can forget where I am. Things have gotten better, mainly through talking about it with someone professionally, and I'm able to focus better now than before, but the imagery still pops into my head from time to time which makes me shudder and blink for a minute to try and make it go away. Also, I still have occasional dreams about the incident that are very graphic where I wake up in a state of shock and it takes me the better part of an hour to feel with it enough to function. How much should I worry about this? Like I said things are getting better but just when I think I'm past it things crop up again. Does it ever end, and if it can how do I get there? Thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Ian Vp]

Hey pontifixmax, I know where you are coming from and have similar flash backs, dreams and thoughts that go along with it. We cant change what has happened, only how we see it or interpret it. That sounded awesome now I only have to be able to do it. I am a work in progress and like you dont know when it will end or how to get there. All you can do is seek help from people familiar with PTSD and keep keeping on. There are a lot of people on this forum that can help you with advice and motivation so this is probably as good a place to start as any. I wish you the best on your journey.

 

[Tessa]

Sorry you are having a tough time. I see a lot of violence and sad things in my work also and find some just get to you - like terrible car accidents or the policeman I found hanging and decomposing 3 days too late. I find that it gets better with time. Gradually you seem to be able to push them to the back of your mind and the dreams and flashbacks become less..until something triggers it again.
We are all here with you in support and hoping it gets better each day.

 

[pontifixmax]

Thank you both for your supportive words. While things have gotten better there are still ebbs and flows when it comes to the flashbacks and the dreams about the incident I described. Its hard to put it behind me since in alot of ways it isn't "post" anything as I still go to work everyday in the place where it happened, and the violence continues there unabated, which needless to say creates a strong stress reaction in me, sometimes like its going to happen all over again, which it very well could, given the reality of the situation there. Anyways on a positive note after the incident occured I put in for a transfer (albeit a temporary one) to somewhere quieter and more peaceful, which finally came through. I believe a couple of months away from the environment where it happened will do me good. Perhaps its avoidance on my part but so be it. After all, what normal person wouldn't avoid being subject to constant violence if they could?