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This is a dick move, and I'm not suggesting you do it right away but perhaps keep this card up your sleeve when push comes to shove. If she's suicidal, then she's psychologically unfit for parenthood. If you decide you want out of the marriage but you want custody of your children, use your wife's bipolar disorder and instability to throw her under the bus. I mean, if you two get divorced, do you honestly think she'll fight fair?

As long as you don't have a criminal record and you're in therapy, combat PTSD will look a lot better to a judge presiding upon custody than bipolar disorder, especially given the unique needs of your children. Bipolar disorder is unpredictable. At least with combat PTSD, triggers can be identified most of the time. Just look at the gun ownership laws regarding bipolar disorder.
 
I have literally picked this this thing apart to the molecular level. The specific ions, the specific synaptic responses, the specific neurotransmitters. I've had blood labs run to confirm results. Why do I do this....

My therapy appointments:
Me: What's going on with me
Doc: What do you think is going on with you?

WTF!!! If I knew that I wouldn't be here. So now I have to play my own doctor too.

Here I'm no doctor but my pituitary gland isn't producing cortisol or signaling my body to produce testosterone. And my hypocampus is producing too much adrenaline.

Do you think they could get me on meds to get it under control. Nope can't even get a referral to endocrine.

That's when I came to this forum. I'm looking for answers. Hell yeah I'm frustrated. I shouldn't have to learn what's happening to me by going to med school but that's exactly what's happening.

Didn't realize I was being a drag on the community here was never my intent. But I'm not getting any help on my end that's why I'm here. Christ my Doc didn't even tell me he diagnosed me with PTSD. I found out from my back doctor when the triage nurse was reading my notes. When I asked him about it he just kind of shrugged it off like it wasn't that big of a deal.

This is the shit medical I have to deal with and this is what brought me here and this is why I'm pissed off that I don't have any f*cking answers.
 
[quote="Raven, post: 39791, member: 91couldn'this is a dick move, and I'm not suggesting you do it right away but perhaps keep this card up your sleeve when push comes to shove. If she's suicidal, then she's psychologically unfit for parenthood. If you decide you want out of the marriage but you want custody of your children, use your wife's bipolar disorder and instability to throw her under the bus. I mean, if you two get divorced, do you honestly think she'll fight fair?

As long as you don't have a criminal record and you're in therapy, combat PTSD will look a lot better to a judge presiding upon custody than bipolar disorder, especially given the unique needs of your children. Bipolar disorder is unpredictable. At least with combat PTSD, triggers can be identified most of the time. Just look at the gun ownership laws regarding bipolar disorder.[/quote]

Raven, I hear what your saying but I couldn't do that. I live my live in servitude of others not only because it's the right thing to do, but also because it feeds me. I could never live with myself if I did that. It would drain me every day. Plus I love them. It would hurt not only her but the girls too. I will fight tooth and nail if it goes that way (which I hope it doesn't) but it will be based on me being a good dad not slinging mud.
 
Florian, having been on this forum for over four years now, I have seen loads of veterans come and go. Quite a lot have actually been in your position. Bipolar is so very similar to PTSD, so she is no different. If she does not want to make it work then think outside the box mate. In the end the most important person is you. You have to fix you so you can help the kids.

I have literally picked this this thing apart to the molecular level. The specific ions, the specific synaptic responses, the specific neurotransmitters. I've had blood labs run to confirm results. Why do I do this....

My therapy appointments:
Me: What's going on with me
Doc: What do you think is going on with you?

WTF!!! If I knew that I wouldn't be here. So now I have to play my own doctor too.

Here I'm no doctor but my pituitary gland isn't producing cortisol or signaling my body to produce testosterone. And my hypocampus is producing too much adrenaline.

Do you think they could get me on meds to get it under control. Nope can't even get a referral to endocrine.

That's when I came to this forum. I'm looking for answers. Hell yeah I'm frustrated. I shouldn't have to learn what's happening to me by going to med school but that's exactly what's happening.

Didn't realize I was being a drag on the community here was never my intent. But I'm not getting any help on my end that's why I'm here. Christ my Doc didn't even tell me he diagnosed me with PTSD. I found out from my back doctor when the triage nurse was reading my notes. When I asked him about it he just kind of shrugged it off like it wasn't that big of a deal.

This is the shit medical I have to deal with and this is what brought me here and this is why I'm pissed off that I don't have any f*cking answers.

Keep going back to the VA.

Have they officially diagnosed you with PTSD???????
 
Florian, having been on this forum for over four years now, I have seen loads of veterans come and go. Quite a lot have actually been in your position. Bipolar is so very similar to PTSD, so she is no different. If she does not want to make it work then think outside the box mate. In the end the most important person is you. You have to fix you so you can help the kids.



Keep going back to the VA.

Have they officially diagnosed you with PTSD???????

Yes, they officially diagnosed me with PTSD, GAD, and Depression. They just never bothered to tell me about the PTSD or depression. I had to find out about the depression from my TBI Doc, and like I said the PTSD from a triage nurse. But when I looked in my jacket sure as shit, there it was. And when I asked him about it he told me "...names aren't important, just because we give something a name doesn't change what it is..." WTF are we William f*ckIN' Shakespeare now.

I'm sorry if I seem to be clawing and scratching here, but I am.
 
Given that she has bipolar disorder, you have to take her antics with a grain of salt. I understand that it's difficult not to take her outbursts personally sometimes--I'm still working on that with my husband. If you're determined to make it work, you have to recognize when it isn't her, it's just her condition "talking".

Is she on meds? How is she about taking them?
 
Living with someone who has bipolar is to me, an almost impossible task. You have so much going on personally that you are trying to juggle all that with the great love you have for your wife and kids. Kudos to you.

I have to tell you though, as a former counselor in one of my many lives, bipolar is not going to be handled without meds. Period. And the meds are the kind that are meant to knock you out one part of the day and wake you up the other. It's very difficult for someone with bipolar to live even a semblance of a life. Once someone has tried suicide, and they hit any snag in life, they will do it again, regardless of the guns laws. They have figured out how to do it thousands of times. Bipolars are smart and creative people.

Keep your expectations down by thinking of you. Without you being strong and supportive, you cannot help her. Talk to her about that need. The other partner needs to learn how to articulate a personal need without being too directive.

There are various stages of bipolar, hopefully she has one of the so-called "light" stages. But they do OK if they have support, professional and otherwise. I suggest you read some of Kay Jamison (bipolar herself). She is a psychiatrist and quite familiar with what you are going through. Know that your wife is very creative at times. I am sure you have seen it. A manic state almost always precedes a deep depression side.

Please, man, keep in touch.
 
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