Following Through

[whiteraven]

I have (and have had as long as I can remember) a very hard time following through with...anything. Well, ok. Not anything. I was able to finish 3 degrees. But other things - essays I start, a course I really wanted to take, cleaning, etc... - I have trouble finishing. The course, which I spent a lot of money on and actually finished, still needs certification. It's like I lost interest after the last level and I have done very little with it since then. I lose interest very quickly in all kinds of stuff...even things that speak directly to what I have wanted to do all my life.

I don't know why this is such an issue for me and I don't know how to fix it.

Anybody else?

 

[RubyBlue]

This is me to a tee. So I’m following this and hoping some good advice comes through.

 

[Ronin]

You have followed through with 3 degrees... Not one, awesome enough, but *three*.

So when it comes to it, you follow through extremely well.

So the Q is less how to follow through...

More how to apply stick-with-it you have when completing your degrees, to other tasks in life? :sneaky:

I have, usually, the same issue...
But a wise man told me to treat things I'm stuck as a rescue op.

Alternatively, how can the boring crap be useful for actual rescues.

Turns out I can sit through Math classes and other I can't. Someone shoot me. No puedo. Meltdown Meltdown Tantrum fit for days. - stuff, with that advice in mind.

So what's your catch, or more like hook to dig into things? ;)

 

[whiteraven]

You have followed through with 3 degrees... Not one, awesome enough, but *three*.

LOL Yeah, after I wrote that I was like...oh good grief. LOL

More how to apply stick-with-it you have when completing your degrees, to other tasks in life? :sneaky:

I've been trying to think through this, to understand why I can do some things and why not others. With the degrees, I think I saw them as a goal to reach. But not just a goal; something I knew I could do and do well.

I wrote a memoir - finished it - and after my beta readers read it, I realized that I needed to rewrite it with a different focus. And...I haven't looked at it since. Probably 2 years.

Cleaning - it just doesn't matter, is how I feel. It doesn't even meet the qualifications of the journey (which, according to some is supposed to be more important than the end product). Doesn't matter if when I die my place is clean or not. Only time I manage to get anything done is when I think about the people who will have to come and clean my home after I die.

My business - I've been setting it up, have the website complete, but...*shrug*

The book I'm currently working on. Ok, this has been fun to work on, even though I really am not excited (yet) about the topic. I have to plan some short trips for research and I've been doing that (which I love to do) and have started the outline and intro. I worry, though, that the same thing will happen halfway through (I actually started - sort of - working on this a couple of years ago and just didn't get very far).

There are lots more examples. I'm thinking that at least part of the issue is that I have a general feeling that nothing matters. And if nothing matters, then just the things I need for now are worth doing. The academic work for the degrees was something to keep me occupied until I wasn't around anymore.

 

[Ronin]

Might try other thought...

If nothing matters, then everything is worth trying out for / doing... Just in case it becomes useful for something mattering, later.

And practically, take less on. One project a time, stick with it until it's finished, pause and move onto another. Not multiple going simultaneously, like those are faar more tempting to leave unfinished, and far harder to manage when depression and lack of energy jump in.

 

[whiteraven]

If nothing matters, then everything is worth trying out for / doing

I've heard this before and I WISH I could adopt this idea.

And practically, take less on. One project a time, stick with it until it's finished, pause and move onto another.

How do you do that? I can't focus long enough and I lose interest quickly (even with stuff I really like and want to do).

Not multiple going simultaneously, like those are faar more tempting to leave unfinished, and far harder to manage when depression and lack of energy jump in.

The reason, I think, I move from project to project is because, as I said above, I can't stick with one long enough to get anywhere. But if I leave it open to work a little on each, I get something accomplished.

 

[Ronin]

Ok so other two Qs:

What helps you focus when you can't? Like on brain's just fried, only static here, days?

And the second, how small-sized do the tasks need to be so you can return to them all refreshed, instead of being overloaded by them?

 

[whiteraven]

What helps you focus when you can't? Like on brain's just fried, only static here, days?

Not much, unfortunately. My cats help me ground but unless I can get started on something (a huge issue), I am basically just fried.

And the second, how small-sized do the tasks need to be so you can return to them all refreshed, instead of being overloaded by them?

In terms of writing, just a paragraph or two is good, but I sometimes find myself unable to return to *that* project (which is why I have to have several going at once). Now today, I am sending out several postcards and have picked them out, addressed them, and am now getting ready to write them. That is something I will finish.

It also seems to be related to the amount of energy I have. Right now...I have a bunch.

 

[Ronin]

So what about micro projects that complement the bigger one, but from different angles?

Like, say you want to write a book, and also clean the room. Starting the cleaning by spaces you need organized for writing, and then those you fetch muses at best, and those you go when you want to daydream, and those you go when you want to be left alone, and reorganize bookshelves and make new space for books based on genres needed for research and books that inspire you, and move out old things & get new ones that flow along with what you are writing about...

Things like that, weaving activities one into another (that is your goal)... instead of sitting between multiple varied sized boxes, unable to fit your activity into any of them.

And not going in bursts of energy / burn out modes... but doing things even with low energy at a slower pace, instead of all or nothing.

In a way that exhausts you less and lets you swim along life, instead of just be carried by it or swimming upstream when you can't catch a breath.

 

[whiteraven]

So what about micro projects that complement the bigger one, but from different angles?

Yeah, I like this idea. The only issue I see is choosing which "bigger" one to use. (I know. I'm hopeless. LOL) I have several "big" projects and choosing between them can be overwhelming. They are all important - developing my business, writing my book, writing and revising my other book, finishing up a couple of courses I'm taking - and it's hard to prioritize.

Starting the cleaning by spaces you need organized for writing, and then those you fetch muses at best, and those you go when you want to daydream, and those you go when you want to be left alone, and reorganize bookshelves and make new space for books based on genres needed for research and books that inspire you, and move out old things & get new ones that flow along with what you are writing about...

So maybe I've done a little bit of that with my business? I offer several services and I've been putting the paperwork for each together, bit by bit and also working each section on my website. Hm...

And not going in bursts of energy / burn out modes... but doing things even with low energy at a slower pace, instead of all or nothing.

Yeah, I need to practice at this more. I do a lot the former way.

In a way that exhausts you less and lets you swim along life, instead of just be carried by it or swimming upstream when you can't catch a breath.

:-) That would be good.

 

[Ronin]

Nahh, not hopeless :sneaky:

I see it pretty much as a twice exceptional student who got stuck on a project that's brilliant, but disability messes with execution of.

Students also ain't hopeless. ;)

If hard to prioritize, I tend to go by:
Life importance
Time sensitivity
Life quality improvement
Interest

About this order. As in if it hits the jackpot on all four, and both needs done for life and now, and is interesting / motivating me even usually, goes first. Or looking at ways how to have someone assist me with it goes first.

Congratz on starting with your business :) Can you consult someone on what sort of paperwork is absolutely necessary, what can be filled in later, and in what time horizon? As I imagine it doesn't need all done at once, but can be done in stages, with basic requirements met from the start. And asking people can get you both answers and contacts for others in the same career, which is darn useful.

 

[whiteraven]

I see it pretty much as a twice exceptional student who got stuck on a project that's brilliant, but disability messes with execution of.

Oh, that makes me feel better!

Congratz on starting with your business :) Can you consult someone on what sort of paperwork is absolutely necessary, what can be filled in later, and in what time horizon?

Thanks. And yes. The initial paperwork is done; I'm just waiting on the money to put it together.