i have been following a little bit of your journey which i hope does not come across stalkery but your compassion for men who have been abused is very evident and i believe that you will go very far as i can hear the love that you have for this type of project and the kind of outreach that you are interested to do, and having been a survivor in that same scenario yourself i believe that will only strengthen your ability to uplift others in the same struggle. i know your words have meant a lot to me.The average amount of time the typical man takes between being abused and opening up about his abuse is 20 to 25 years.
it really does make a difference being able to hear from other men who have had similar circumstances as well, it is my hope that the more it becomes more socially acceptable if ever for us to disclose such events the more our society can heal and the better off we will collectively become. i am truly sorry for how long it had taken you to become open with that part of yourself but i am grateful you are able to share, at least from one anonymous person on the internet to another, it has been a truly meaningful event to me at least to hear of others who have had success along their healing path.And to be clear I didn't start getting help for sexual child abuse until I was in my late 30's
like both you and @Survivor3 my father was essentially a psychopath although that term is not diagnostic, it is descriptive. he was sadistic and frequently drank. raged. i believe he was severely mentally compromised in some way as he would get ideas in his head of how to "fix" me.
funny enough that my life appears to be dominated by men but yet the idea of participating in entirely a men's group does not feel safe to me. a dichotomous existence i lead that i manage to be very much gay, which is part of my identity that i am not ashamed of any longer, but yet ultimately other men intimidate me. my husband has his friend group and i duck out into the office when they come over.
even on this thread reaching out initially and now to type all of this (which i have been typing non-stop today it appears) and now to press send. very nerve-wracking. groups of men really do scare me even in public. it feels predatory and dangerous. but yet i have no relation to women at all. i believe i still hold the fear of animosity from other men toward me as i am not an alpha male, i am not straight, i am a scientific mind, i am not physically imposing in any way. it is difficult sometimes to feel so distinct.
i wonder if any others feel the same way.