"Forgetting"

[LSNP]

So I forget a lot of things that the stalker did. There are two people close to me - very close to me during the active "stalking," when legality wasn't involved" - who remind me of things the stalker did that I have completely forgotten about. However, when reminded, I remember.

Is that dissociaton? I don't think so. Perhaps some emotional caretaking... "Bury it so she doesn't kill herself..." sort of thing from the deep recesses of my mind.

But I remember, if reminded.

What's that?

 

[Cthulhu]

I remember all things, really everything, in that reactive way... Don't know if it's dissociation but it's awful because there's almost nothing I can remember "all by myself".
The reminder doesn't have to know me, it's sufficient if he or she just talks about something that triggers some part of my memory...

 

[Elphaba]

I don't know what it is called, but today, many years after the event, I still discover things I didn't know about, things that my brain shut out. However, it doesn't feel like a memory. It feels like a fact. For example, I know so and so got in touch, or I know I took this route... but I don't remember it as if it is my own experience. I remember it because I logged it on my PC and found it years later.

But maybe it is normal to remember more or to have your memory trigged? I experience that too with some elements of the event, but I guessed it was just my brain receiving some information that helped it remember when it was "ok" to look at it again.

But I am not sure...

-E

 

[intothelight]

Hi LSNP,

There are many things I have forgotten. I think our brain just locks it away so we can continue to live. However, once reminded of the details of an event, I do remember and the memory stays. The effects of the trauma can set off PTSD symptoms, but in some way those are easier to manage and work through rather than the random symptoms that do not appear to be tied to anything.

I do not actively seek to "remember" at this time and have requested the individuals that do remember come with me to see my T in the future. I will feel more comfortable addressing the trauma with the assistance of a professional and a plan. Don't "force" memories unless there is something that you need to remember to keep yourself safe. It hard enough to deal with the fallout when they come back on their own, rather than trying to force them. I think they stay "forgotten" for a reason, until we a capable of addressing and processing.

ITL

 

[Deleted member 5760]

This happens to me all the time. The present moment is actually an example. It’s the middle of the night and I’ve literally just woken up from a dream where I was back at a market in Thailand and some guy was trying to drug me. He also had a dog with rabies trying to scratch me. What did that completely abstract and random dream make me remember :

That when I was 16 my mother was out of the house for the night and an escaped mental patient who was completely 100% naked broke into my house through a window upstairs. Just makes me wonder about exactly how the human brain works, because –

a) What does that dream have to do with that break in (which btw, didn’t traumatise me that much at the time. I remember having a small problem with the hallway for a while afterwards, but that’s about all) ; and

b) How could I have just seemed to have forgotten about that incident happening in my life? Thinking about it now I still can’t recall much about afterwards. I vaguely remember the police talking to me. I also remember my Mum’s intense scare when she arrived home to a house surrounded by police cars and her relief when she discovered they’d found him and I was ok (she TOLD me how she felt afterwards and I remember thinking ‘Oh poor Mum. I hope she’s not mad at herself for not being home’).

Hmm, well, back to bed. Tomorrow night my gf is staying and I’m sure she’ll love it if I keep her up all night babbling in my sleep about rabies infested dogs and strange people trying to lead me away and drug me. Sheesh! On a positive note, it is a lovely thought that she’ll be there to cuddle while trying to go back to sleep. Sometimes another human presence in the bed helps with that for me. Oh bugger it, I probably wont be able to sleep now... *rubs temples*. I can feel that I need sleep because my eyes are starting to get a lil sore when I blink. Like I’ve been swimming in a pool for too long and the chlorine is starting to make them itch and hurt.

One last thought before I return to bed. I agree with ITL that the brain buries things we’re simply not prepared to process at a particular time. It’s just so random that I’m now sat here thinking about this incident because basically – it didn’t traumatise me at the time. Still doesn't now really. It's just 'another one of those things that happened in my life'.

I can understand complete blackouts regarding my main traumas and have come to accept they are simply ‘stolen moments’ from my life that I will never get back. It’s almost like after a certain amount of actively trying to remember my brain came back with ‘honey, you don’t want or need to know. Why do you think I hid it from you?’ at which point acceptance of the fact that I will likely never remember did occur and I stopped begging my brain for answers.