Freaked By Therapist'says New Office

[watundah]

I've been seeing my therapist for 4 years, always in the same space. Last week she moved into a beautiful place at her home and my first time there was today. I totally felt uncomfortable and didn't want to go at all. I'm always looking for a reason to quit and this pushes me to the edge. Obviously the newness and uncertainty triggered me and she stated it's not surprising. As I shut down so often now I wonder how many months it's going to take me to get past this. Thinking of taking a break as I really hate wasting my time and especially my money. I've seen threads where others are upset when their T.moves the furniture. Maybe a break would help it all seem less startling. She did give me a three weeks warning but apparently part of me is not happy and feels threatened.I hate this. Grrr... I also think part of me is uncomfortable being in her personal space. We left next week as an "I domt know.".

 

[Deleted member 34328]

People with PTSD need to have a "safe" place. For me, I feel safe in my T's office. In a sense, for a time it becomes MY space with a safe person.

He let me know a few weeks ago that he's planning to give up his office space for financial reasons next spring. He has quite a few ideas that he feels will work well, but while I get it, I already feel completely threatened by it. I haven't said anything since it's still quite a few months away.

I completely get what you're saying. Definitely not alone in that. I'm scared already.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I always tried to imagine my therapist's home but i sort of project myself in my head into his life for saftey. If he actually moved his office there, I think i would like feel exposed or something.

Its certianly not unusual. Id get uncomfortable if he moved the table and i stare or moved it so i couldnt.

And i do agree that we have "safe spaces" and thats gotta mess with yours. Why completely stop the sessions though? I mean, obviously, you need to do whats best for you, but imaging myself, id draw back...talk about little stuff in my life like work, family, so forth...stop the deep stuff until i felt more comfortable with my surroundings. Just another option than totally stopping.

 

[watundah]

Because I already have problems with shutting down and my sessions are stupidly expensive. Paying to sit and withdraw gets frustrating and I think this could take a while to overcome.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Paying to sit and withdraw gets frustrating and I think this could take a while to overcome.

I agree. Im just thinking of the times i felt like i was just wasting my money. I once added it up and it was over 5 grand...

The could take a while to overcome...whats making you fear it will take so long? Im just wondering is all.

 

[watundah]

It took a very long time to build a sense of safety
Also,this week uncovered new trauma memories since the last session so this was a lot to endure.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Sounds like being stuck either way.

I mentioned my own fear of an impending move. While the idea of trying out a new place doesn't seem very appealing, I don't think I'm ready to quit therapy yet ...actually, I know I'm not. My therapist has a private practice, so I hear you about the cost factor.

I was terrified the first time I went to a session and ended up feeling safe both in space and person. If you trust your T and she wants to help you adjust, then maybe focus on the person you trust - who hasn't changed, and the place will slowly come into focus.

 

[Justmehere]

Is there anything the same that you can focus on? This helps me get through therapy office moves. (Which has happened 3 times with my therapist.) For me, I focus on her. I focus on this one picture she brings.

She did give me a three weeks warning but apparently part of me is not happy and feels threatened.I hate this. Grrr... I also think part of me is uncomfortable being in her personal space. We left next week as an "I domt know.".

Talk to her more about what feels threatening. It might feel like a waste to spend money on these sessions, but part of the work of healing is actually the relationship with the therapist, and weathering through bumps in the road like this. Some of my sessions that seems like a total waste because it was me fighting to deal with crap with the therapist have been some of the most helpful over the long haul. At the time it seemed like it was very useless, but over the long haul, it propelled my recovery to go deeper and somehow old issues were stirred up but worked through as well.

It took a very long time to build a sense of safety
Also,this week uncovered new trauma memories since the last session so this was a lot to endure.

It is a lot. :hug:

 

[watundah]

Thanks, @Justmehere . I was so triggered I am trying to level out my thinking. There are a couple of things that would help which would mean some changes to the space so we'll see. So much crap from the past crashing into the present.. You are right, it's all relational, my biggest speedbump.

 

[Crow]

My T moved from a wonderful industrial loft setting in the alternative village in the city to her home. I'd been seeing her about 10 years at that point. I hated going to her home. It took months and months before I asked where the restroom was. But now it is my safe haven. It's quiet and filled with things she loves. I like when I come in and she's been cooking. Feels like coming home.

Maybe try giving the discomfort some room and some time. I don't know if my incredible progress in recent years is linked to the home office, never really thought about it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

 

[watundah]

Well there are a couple of things that will need fixed.

There is a window facing me and outside of the window is a window in the house. Realistically its a small window and I know no one can really see in but that blind needs pulled. Easy peasy.

Secondly I could hear someone go in and out of a door below us which felt intrusive and unnerving. That will need to stop while I'm there. Hypervigilance overload.
We'll see how she feels about that because it may impede upon her husband's freedom to move around in and out of the garage below us but if I could hear the door,.could he hear us? And I can listen several other reasons why that bugged me...

 

[Crow]

Yep. No one else is allowed in T's house while she's in session. That is a boundary she set. Only her animals make noise every now and then.

I used to require the blinds be pulled. That's totally reasonable too.