Frustrated And Disapointed SUDs Stayed Same

[changed]

I was doing EMDR today, Ive lost count of what session im on now but done quite alot for different areas of trauma. We are building up to harder stuff and things are at a fairly difficult stage now. So we done EMDR last week for this part and my SUDs were quite high and they stayed the same this week before and after EMDR.

My T looked so disapointed in me, I was frustrated on top of everything else because I felt like I was letting her down. The thing is I know im only scratching the surface of that memory and there is so much deeper but I cant or wont get to it. Im so frustrated and angry. My T keeps saying 'you cant do EMDR wrong, that theres not any rights or wrongs'. If thats true then why do I feel like such a failure.

I know all the horrible stuff is in there but I cant get in deep enough to confront it. My SUDs are already relatively high, how bad is it gona be if I finally do get in there. Aaaaahhhhh just so frustrated.

Has anyone else had the issue of SUDs not moving? Does this mean that they are not gonna go any lower because we have been over the same part twice now?!

Any advice would be much appriciated xx

 

[Iam]

IDk Changed.....I haven't started doing EMDR yet. I do know that when my T and I touch on particularly painful things my symptoms sky rocket. Sometimes it is so bad that we have to back off for awhile and work on other things. Then when we come back to it we are able to go deeper. It's a process and I don't imagine it is any different with EMDR. Guess I'll be finding that out soon.

I understand your frustration completely. I have periods like that too. Makes me want to give up all together. We aren't failures when we get stuck.....It's not a matter of our will, our minds can only take so much. Try to go easy on yourself, you will get there.

 

[changed]

Thanks Iam, you are always so supportive.
xx

 

[curiouser]

I haven't done EMDR in over 3 years, found EFT worked better for me, but do understand the frustration that can come when you're working on something and can't get the SUDS level to move down. EFT and EMDR do both use a SUDS scale.

When I did EMDR with my therapist, I was able to do it on not only memories but also negative thoughts and beliefs. When I read what you wrote above, it sort of sounded to me like you could have a negative belief or fear about going deeper that may be keeping you from being able to get EMDR to work and be able to move forward and bring your SUDS level down.

"The thing is I know im only scratching the surface of that memory and there is so much deeper but I cant or wont get to it." "I know all the horrible stuff is in there but I cant get in deep enough to confront it."

What do you believe will happen if you allow yourself to go deeper? How would things or you change, if you could go deeper and deal with this memory fully?

If you come up with any answers, maybe you could try EMDR on what comes up and deal with anything negative.

"My SUDs are already relatively high, how bad is it gonna be if I finally do get in there." Seems like you're already anticipating things are going to get worse if you go deeper before you've even had a chance to try. Kind of like you're setting yourself up for things to be worse which may only fuel the fear or negative belief you could have about going deeper.

Another thought, I don't know if this could be possible, but sometimes when I'm doing EFT and can't get my SUDS level down, it's because of psychological reversal. That's where the polarity in your energy field (acupuncture meridians) is flowing in reverse. Psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan (founder of Thought Field Therapy) believed it's something that happens naturally to all of us from time to time. If you're experiencing a lot of negative thinking, self sabotage, resistance to do therapy and work on things, find yourself reversing your lefts and rights or letters / numbers without thinking, you may be experiencing it. They say PR happens about 40% of the time when someone is doing EFT and there are easy ways of reversing it back to normal so you get results when doing it. It's what often can prevent EFT from working. I know you're not doing EFT and I don't know if it's something that could make a difference with the success of EMDR, as it can with EFT.

What ever may be the cause, please don't feel you're a failure. As Iam said this is a process, and these things may take some time to be able to confront and work out.

 

[Iam]

Excellent info Curiouser. I think the questions you asked are ones that can be used when any of us get stuck no matter what therapy technique we are engaged in. The info you post is always so encouraging or useful. Thanks for still posting here!

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Curiouser,

My next session with my T is devoted to EFT. She described it as a blending of eastern and western psychology. Kinda like acupuncture without the needles (thank god). She said that for some people it works very well. For others, nothing. BUT - she's never seen it go badly, such as with EMDR. So in short, nothing to lose by trying. I brought it up in a session weeks ago and she was extremely familiar with it, but she didn't wanna just give it ten minutes. So we're devoting an entire session to it. She also mentioned, as you say, that it's a technique (once learned) which you can do yourself once well versed in it and if it works for you. However, I still at this point in my journey, wouldn't be willing to go 'oh I know EFT' and walk away from cognitive behavioural therapy. Because I am ~certainly~ feeling the benefits of it.

 

[Iam]

I think you hit the nail on the head Jen. My T and I decided on the EFT but he pointed out that it is not a miracle cure. The people who are successful at managing any mental issues are the ones who want to make change and are willing to do the work. Which is why we decided I would go to a specialist in EMDR and still continue my sessions with him. It's taken a year to open up and for him to see me go thru different "spells". Don't want to have to build that up with a different T either!

 

[curiouser]

SuperJen,

I agree, I mention EFT a lot because it's what I use, so I may use it as a therapy example when relating to others, but I usually try to point out when I mention it, what works for one person may not work well for others. It's most definitely true that you need to find the therapy or combo of therapies that you're most comfortable with and what works best for you. I don't usually use EFT alone by itself, I also journal, incorporate NLP techniques, and in the past have had talk therapy as well with it.

If someone is considering EFT as a therapy to try by itself or as a compliment to other therapies the "self therapy" and "miracle cures" are two very good points to keep in mind. Yes EFT can be a form of self therapy once learned properly, that said there are several benefits to working with a therapist/EFT practitioner when using it for serious issues and only using it in "self therapy" mode for less serious issues emotional or physical, or as a coping/management skill for stress, anxiety, etc. - something to use in between sessions with a therapist.

I personally use it in "self therapy" form now (I am at a point in my life where I feel safe and confident that I can use it without further assistance), and have been able to have it work out ok, however should things change in the future, I know I can change my therapy needs at any time.

The "miracle cure" thing is often misunderstood when it comes to EFT. There are some practitioners out there who claim that EFT can create instant changes fast and more often than not, it doesn't happen that way. EFT is a skill to be mastered like many other things, the better you get at doing it and the more you use it, the faster and more accurate it can work. I've experienced clearing things in 10 min, and with other things it's taken me hours, days, or weeks of working on them, it just depends.

There are so many different factors that can come into play as to the amount of success you can have with it and it often varies from issue to issue because they affect us at different levels. Some issues can start out at a SUDS level of 5 while others can be a 10+. Psychological reversal, how hydrated you are, how specific you get, not tapping on points correctly, not clearing the core issue of the problem, not clearing all the aspects of an issue, being too close to the problem and not seeing what the cause of it is, and not addressing limiting thoughts/beliefs about the process, are just a few of the main factors that can affect the success of EFT. Since learning it properly and using it more often, I'm much better at getting to core issues faster and resolving them than I was when I first started.

Is it possible that EFT can "cure" or manage some emotional or physical issues to the point where you're no longer bothered by it? Yes, there are a lot of documented examples and research that show this is possible. That said, there are a lot of variables that go into it as to how possible it becomes for you personally.

As Gene, an EFT practitioner says "Most of the time we judge success not based on what we achieved, but instead what we achieved in relation to our expectations."