Frustrating Posts

[Netewu]

Some might find it upsetting to see a side (In this case virtually) On others , that they have as well, kind of a reflection. Someone writes about the same hing probably over and over again,blaming here and there without the knowledge or seemingly without the knowledge that only He or she alone can truly make the difference. How can we truly judge that? We really dont know.

We cannot truly make a picture here. This place can also be used for that purpose to tell.

 

[Okud]

Put them on ignore so you never see their posts again.

Problem solved.

 

[Sojo]

This is a peer support forum.

Support sometimes includes advice, and sometimes it includes haing a sounding board and being heard.

Advice is advice. If the other person can not choose what they will follow and not, then it becomes an order.

This is not a peers order other peers around forum.

 

[Gukohuh]

When people don't take your advice, and it makes you angry/anxious/upset - that may be a sign of caretaking or co-dependency. It is co dependent to seeking to "fix" so that the "fixer" feels ok, even if the fixer doesn't realize it that's a goal. Best way to find out if you are co-dependent: see how you react when the other person stays unfixed. If you begin to resent them for not utilizing your help, then it's really more about you than them.

The sign of someone who isn't co-dependent is someone who can still be happy even if someone else is not fixed, doesn't follow advice on how to be fixed, etc.

 

[Negeha]

Here is a thought: is it a post that frustrates you, OR, is it you who is frustrated already and that has skewed your perception of another's opinion?

 

[Ehe]

I read through some of the replies, not all. Im just going to advise like I didnt read the replies.

Answer, no. The reason is because there were many MANY people on here assuming that I wasnt taking advise and applying it when thats all I was trying to do, to a point where i frustrated myself and ended up worse off and that I wasnt trying when I couldnt of tried any harder.

You dont know these people or how hard they are trying to apply the advise (that they can apply, not all advise can be applied or is applicable), you are assuming that they arent because its not a magical quick fix. Nothing is a fast quick fix and it takes a long time to apply it.

Most now are seeing my massive change in the 6 months ive been here and are making comments about it; it never would have occured if i didnt apply the advise orginally.

Sometimes complaints about what seems to me as small stuff gets to me but thats a me issue, not a them issue and I remind myself of that.

This is a forum full mentally ill traumatized people all trying to get better in massively different enviroments and circumstamces. Without knowing them in person it is impossible to know if they are applying your advise. And your advise might be what I leave.

There was a comment about miss informtation, we all can learn things from here too and I am fast to see im wrong, research, and come back informed. Therefore even miss information doesnt bother me as long as that person is willing to see they are wrong.

Most of what bothers you about other posters are a you issue and not a them issue.

Take what you can apply and leave the rest.

 

[Wuguh]

Reading all this for the first time. One word that seems to be repeated is the word "fix". We don't want to be fixed. We need to learn that we have the freedom to make our own choices and stop being doormats. Yes, advice or suggestions are lifelines to some posters, but others just want to vent and have no where else to vent.

For me, most of the time I need affirmation that what I'm feeling is valid and that my brain isn't wired wrong. I rarely post personal experiences (that's just me). I usually respond to other posts. Sometimes offer suggestions, but in my experience, listening for what's not being said and asking good questions is far more helpful than telling a person what needs to be done - even if it's correct.

 

[Beweme]

One word that seems to be repeated is the word "fix". We don't want to be fixed. We need to learn that we have the freedom to make our own choices and stop being doormats.

Amen!

 

[Sadad]

please dont get annoyed its hard for a lot of people to admit whats happened to them let alone change i get where you come from but having problems of my own with ptsd using advice takes time. the fact your there for them does help even if it does not show at first

 

[Reha]

Shimmerz - I come here for inspiration and to sharing ideas. Sharing ideas is very different than giving advice. 'Giving' implies that the recipient is bound to 'take' what is being given. Sharing implies that one is brainstorming with another to perhaps get to a better end result. There are no expectations.

 

[Unog]

I personally have to put people on ignore if they won't remove themselves from an abusive environment. Running around trying to fix everything else but living in an abusive environment won't work and my advice falls on deaf ears. Before I'm flamed, realize that this is where I draw the line at putting myself out there to help other people as is my right. They have plenty of others here on the forum to help them, so the absence of my 2 cents won't make a difference.

 

[Epic]

Running around trying to fix everything else but living in an abusive environment won't work and my advice falls on deaf ears.

Do you know the situation and circustances completely, backwards and fowards to even state that they should let alone could.

Sure, you can ignore anyone you please but I have a right to state that my opinion and that statement is extremely self inflamed and quite judgemental. You have no idea of people's circumstances of their life.

I like advise better when given just simply because the person wants to help and doesnt care of their advise is what helped the person but rather that they were helped.