Funnies

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[Sarg]

It was, for about .0268 seconds!

Sarg

 

[holdenmonty]

I got an e-mail from my uncle with some really funny stuff that was either in a church bulletin or part of the announcements that the pastor read at a church. They all are really funny so here they are:

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items
to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.
'The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[holdenmonty]

We do qualify on the m-16/m-4 but I totally agree

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[Friday]

This is an old one... But one of my favorites :D

 

[atilla]

Bwwwaaaahaahaahaa. Must be a catholic vet fixing the sign.lol.good one Friday. :)

 

[OldDoorGunner]

Friday, now that was f*cking funny!!!!:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:):):):):)