Raven
Diamond Member
Link Removed
I ran shirtless with a bum because I'm a pimp.
I ran shirtless with a bum because I'm a pimp.
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Funnies
- Post starter Jimmy1
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- #652
nice!
OldDoorGunner
Diamond Member
He's Everywhere, He's Everywhere!!! (I was in Vietnam when I heard Chickenman for the first time)
I remember listening to that show! Good find. :)(y)
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- #658
I modified this for your Marine Corps.
The Marine Corps found they were too top heavy in the higher ranks so decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a Warrant officer, a grizzly old bloke with scars all over his face and missing two fingers on his left hand, who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of me ole fella to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big bonus's the previous two officers had received. But the old Warrant Officer insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Warrant to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Warrant Officer's ole fella and began to work back.
Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The old Warrant Officer calmly replied, ' Vietnam'.
The Marine Corps found they were too top heavy in the higher ranks so decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a Warrant officer, a grizzly old bloke with scars all over his face and missing two fingers on his left hand, who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of me ole fella to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big bonus's the previous two officers had received. But the old Warrant Officer insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Warrant to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Warrant Officer's ole fella and began to work back.
Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The old Warrant Officer calmly replied, ' Vietnam'.
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