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The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs is organizing an event this weekend for Veterans who cannot ejaculate.

Please let them know if you can't come...

Thank you,
Department of Veterans Affairs
 
the flu.webp
 
Sometimes you just wanna stop the car in the middle of the interstate and take a piss?
It's especially funny because she looks like a preppier version of yours truly. :cautious: Someone sent it to me with the message, "Lol you were on the news!"

 
A blonde enters a pet store. She looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says:
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!

Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise ... NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions ... please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
'LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE MORE TIME...
 
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