Funny Story Involving Hypervigilance

[elvis]

i thought some of you may enjoy this story...

so. came home tonight, the fire was on low. (gas fire) i went to turn it up using the knob to the left of our faux loggage (inside the fireplace)...and A MOUSE comes FLYING out at my head. i scream bloody murder, connecting curse words and random adjectives like never before. (in fact, the huz said it was my finest work to date) this is an accomplishment in itself, because he has lived with my hypervigilant ass for the past 3 and a half years. yes. i curse when i freak out. not even on purpose most of the time. and i stress "most". hence, sentence fragments like f-ckity f-ck f-ck F-CKER just fly out.

there are two main troubling realizations from this experience:

1) The mouse is, in fact, fire retardant, he leapt OUT OF the fire. this is no ordinary mouse.

2) Oliver (my little 8lb pup) is NOT going to have my back like i thought he would if a time ever arose . HE RAN AWAY. granted he is neutered so what can i really expect. but STILL.

this means war. but i'm actually not sure what that means. but still, it means WAR.

 

[becvan]

:boxem: You get him girl!!!

:rofl::rofl:

That is priceless...

bec

BTW: I swear when I'm stressed too. the more I swear the more stressed I am.. lol

 

[Marlene]

Flying, fire proof mouse? You got some tough, bad-assed rodents in your neck of the woods!!!! LOL

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my propensity to string together inventive and unusual combinations of swear words when I get stressed out. It's amazing how quickly your mind can put words together. LOL

 

[vcc123]

Lmao!!

Elvis.. you're killing me!! :rofl: Seriously.. thats the funniest thing I've heard in weeks!! I'm laughing out loud.. so hard that my stomach muscles hurt.. The visual.. God thats good.. Thank you.:claps:

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi Elvis
You must have some Battle Hardened mice, Jings you'd better watch out. Whats next Kamikazi mice, Frightning isn't it. Up in Glasgow the rodents give you a Glasgow Kiss (They Head-but you).
Better get out your Helmet and be ready for battle girl, and get a cat as well.
:rofl: :claps:
Take care
Scott:hello:

 

[elvis]

ha ha.

i knew you all would enjoy that. i sort of want to start a thread titled "MOST CREATIVE STRAND OF CURSE WORDS YOU'VE EVER UTTERED."

 

[Deleted member 93]

mine would normally fall under screaming friggle fraggle fck. I try to start off nice as I have kids, but sometimes it just can't be held and pops out at the end. Fire proof mouse, yeah I imagine you needed new britches after that!

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi Elvis, I know quite a few Scottish words that you could use.
Like. "Get Oot Ma Hoose yah horrible wee timmerin beastie ye".
or "YOU YA NUMPTIE MOOSE GET TAE F%^*£$$K OR I'LL CRUSH YER WEE HEED".
Scott:boxem:

 

[Terry]

Good thing he was fireproof.

 

[anthony]

A good laugh jen... thanks for that one.

 

[kers]

Lovely story! I had my own recent funny run-in with PTSD...

About ten minutes into my last therapy session, I started to notice a smell. A lot of the flashbacks I've had have been olfactory--I smell something that's not there and get an intense, upsetting memory related to it. So it takes me a while to place the smell....onions. I hate onions! I'm sniffing like a bloodhound dog, this scent seems EVERYWHERE! But therapist is totally unaffected, it seems. I don't have any feelings attached to the smell (although it makes me think of my mom cooking dinner when I was a wee one). The whole session, part of my mind is going to figure out why I'm getting this smell now. Finally, at the very end of the session, I know I have to ask. I need to know if I'm hallucinating smells again. So, out with it: "Does it smell like...onions?" Therapist busts a gut laughing, directs me to the trash can hidden beside the sofa where I sit: full of an onion-saturated salad.

Heh. Next time, I'll ask before I wig out worrying about my hallucinations for an entire session.

 

[jade]

At the time this happened it wasn't really funny but looking back at it gets a laugh out of me everytime.

It was shortly after 9-11. I'm sure everyone at that point was having some anxiety when hearing planes fly over.Anyway it was late at night @ 10 or 11. Ethan was in bed sleeping. I was taking my last bathroom break before bed.So here I am sitting on the potty when I heard the plane coming. Just by the sound you could tell that it was flying low and it was big. The closer to the house it got the more panicked I became. By this point the whole house is vibrating to the point that things were falling off shelves, tables, dressers, ect. So here I am on the potty in a full blown panic attack. Totally frozen while my mind is screaming at me to get to Ethan. I couldn't move. I remember thinking Oh my god I don't want to die on the toilet, but glad I was where I was so I wouldn't have to change my clothes. Ethan slept through the whole thing. After the plane flew over it took me another 30 min. before I could move. I'm so glad he slept through it as I wasn't sure how to explain to him why I was crying on the toilet and how come I couldn't get up.
Looking back on it now I can laugh and thank the good lord that nobody had to come rescue me as it would have been humiliating.