G.o.l.d

[Changing4Best]

One time when we were on vacation camping, my daddy decided that maybe he could heat up a can of GRANDMA BROWNS BAKED BEANS on our little camp stove, kind of like a Sterno stove. We were at a picnic site at a State Park or something. Anyway, he put it on the burner and we watched it. The whole batch of beans started rising up out of the can, keeping the shape of the can perfectly (they were thick). So daddy turned it down a little, and the beans slowly lowered in the can. So daddy raised the heat a little again, and they rose. So daddy raised and lowered the heat, while the hunk of beans rose and fell.... finally daddy misjudged when to lower the heat, and the whole batch of beans fell over into the side of the flame and sizzled! So we ate charred, luke warm beans that day on our picnic, laughing all the while. Daddy never bought that brand of beans again, I think we'd had our fill of them!

 

[Changing4Best]

A learned Language Proffessor was lecturing his class on double negatives. He proudly announced that there was no such thing in the English language. A freshman in the back row said quietly, Yeah Right.

 

[Changing4Best]

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes???

This is for all the germ conscious folks who worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'.

His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as cold water can get 'em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'.

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?'.

Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'.

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted! "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me".

 

[Finding Shawna]

With kids, you have no secrets....

My son being the boy he is thinks passing gas is funny. I always tell him "girls don't like that!" He says "well my dad does it all the time at his house." So in response I say "you see, that's why I'm not with your dad anymore." Well of course the next time he went to his dad's, he told him exactly what I said.

 

[Changing4Best]

LOL... Finding! Kids will do those things. What did you ex-husband say? Just curious...